Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis (TV Series)

Bradley Cooper (2009)

Bradley Cooper: Self

Quotes 

• Zach Galifianakis - Host : Hi welcome to another episode of Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis, I'm the host of the show and my guest today is someone named "Brad Lee Cooper."

  Bradley Cooper : I'm so excited to be here.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : You're in a comedy movie right now, let's talk about comedy movies. I love Wedding Crashers, I saw that three times.

  Bradley Cooper : Thank you.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Surprised]  Were you in that?

  Bradley Cooper : [Enthusiastically]  Yeah.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Doubting him]  Who'd you play?

  Bradley Cooper : I played Sack Lodge, who is the bad guy in the movie. Opposite Vince Vaughn. I gained like twenty-five pounds for the role because I was worried that you wouldn't believe that I could be the bad guy to "Jeremy and "John" the characters that Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn plays. They're 35-year-old divorce lawyers and for their free time they like to crash weddings and one of the weddings their crashing is Owen's character...

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Interrupts him]  I think it was "wedding Planner" that you were in.

  Bradley Cooper : No that was Matthew McConaughey who I did failure to Launch with and he plays a guy also is 35 years old who still lives with his mom and dad that is played by Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw and I Play "Demo" who...

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Interrupts him]  No one gives a fuck.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : So you live in California?

  Bradley Cooper : Yeah, I live in Venice California.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : So do you hang out with a lot of "show biz" types?

  Bradley Cooper : Is that Carrot Top behind me?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Yeah.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [to Carrot Top]  Hi Carrot.

  Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson : Hey what's up?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Ignores Carrot Top to Bradley]  you're on the cover of Details Magazines which is a really good publication... if you run out of cologne.

  Bradley Cooper : Alright.

  Bradley Cooper : [Sees that Zach is slumping in his chair]  why are you sitting like that?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : What?

  Bradley Cooper : Why are you being mean to me?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Shaking his head]  I'm not being mean, I'm just asking questions so you recently hosted Saturday Night Live?

  Bradley Cooper : Yeah that was like a dream come true.

• Zach Galifianakis - Host : Who's dream?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Bradley laughs]  what's the matter? Are you a lame, boozer drop out?

  Bradley Cooper : Come on man.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Come on man.

  Bradley Cooper : What are you doing?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Just reading my notes.

  Bradley Cooper : You that I'm insecure about that.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Well you know you can't "skate" on your looks alone

  Bradley Cooper : [laughs] 

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : It's not funny.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [using his pen to point at Bradley's heart]  What matters is what's in here.

  Bradley Cooper : [laughs and scoffs] 

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Uses his to pen to point at Bradley's heart]  It's not funny, it's what's inside here.

  Bradley Cooper : [slaps his hand away] 

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [slaps Bradley's face] 

  Bradley Cooper : [slaps his face so hard that Zach falls back in his chair]