- [referring to Reed's little daughter]
- Craig McCenzie: Look at that! Look at what your nuts made! I saved those nuts.
- Reed: But Control is going to cut your balls off, man. That guy was CIA.
- Craig McCenzie: Seems to me, you party with the Devil, God ain't ever going to help you.
- The Pitchman: [commercial on a Web site] We offer the ultimate in bragging rights.
- [sets off explosion]
- The Pitchman: And the best part is... it's all tax-deductible.
- [first lines]
- Craig McCenzie: [talking by radio while surveilling] Okay, Miss Mike, you're in.
- [long pause]
- Craig McCenzie: Watch your ass.
- Reed: [sneaking into a stronghold, disguised wearing a burka] Definitely Taliban presence here. Not a lot, but they're here. Over.
- Craig McCenzie: If you see Bin Laden, you can give him a big New York kiss. Then chop his nuts off. You can wear them as earrings.
- Reed: Roger that.