The Virginity Hit (2010)

Zack Pearlman: Zack

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nicole : Do you want to take a shower with me?

  Matt : Yeah uh... see actually I'm good right now. I just actually... I took a shower.

  Jacob : [Listening in from another room with Zack and some other friends]  Come on.

  Zack : [Drops head onto arms]  I hate - I hate him.

• Zack : [laughing at Matt] 

  Matt : [Shaving his pubic hair]  Why is that funny?

  Zack : It's not a massage. You rub it around the fucking hairy parts, not your whole dick, you weirdo.

• Zack : Matt has fallen ill with two acute medical conditions. Blue balls and a broken heart. And my associate, Jacob, and I have found a way to cure this problem.

• Zack : [to two pedestrian women]  Have you ever lost your virginities? Wanna meet my friend?

• Matt : Alright. I sucked... her tits.

  Zack : $2500, and all you did was suck her tits?

• Zack : You just need to promise me you'll tell me one thing. Just one thing, that's all I want to know.

  Matt : I'll try. I will.

  Zack : Does she squirt?

  [Matt looks dumbfounded] 

  Zack : Did she have a geyser? 'Cause she totally looks like...

  Matt : Yeah, yeah.

  Zack : Her vagina was like Old Yeller.

  Jacob : No, not Old Yeller. Old Yeller's a dog. Yellow, you're thinking of...

  Zack : Yellowstone Park.

  Jacob : Yeah.

  Zack : Old Geyser.

  Jacob : [laughs]  No, not...

  Matt : Old Yeller. Old Yeller was the dog.

  Justin : Old Yeller is the dog.

  Matt : What's the name of the geyser?

  Zack : Old Geyser.

  Matt , Jacob , Justin : No.

  Justin : Old Face...

  Matt : Face/Off!

• Zack : [while on his knees, shaving Matt's pubic hair]  So, when you're fucking her tonight, you know what you should say? I was thinking about this last week. You should say, "Girl, I'm gonna fuck the taste right out of your mouth."

  Matt : No. No, I'm not saying that to anyone.

  Zack : It's classy.

  Matt : It's not classy.

  Zack : It's very classy. That's like holding the door for a woman.

  Matt : Saying that I want to fuck the taste out of someone?

  Zack : Absolutely.

  [Admires the shaving work he's doing] 

  Zack : I am good at this.