Gracie Allen: Gracie Allen

Quotes 

• Blanche Morton : [returning home from the beauty parlor]  My operator's a very clever girl. I wouldn't let *anybody* else touch my hair. In fact, you know what she told me today? Women are going to wear their hair longer.

  Gracie Allen : Oh, well, that's ridiculous. I'm *already* wearing my hair twenty-four hours a day.

• Gracie Allen : You know, one night George came to visit me, and he brought me a bag of jellybeans, and we were sitting on the sofa and my mother came in and turned out all the lights, and...

  Blanche Morton : Your MOTHER turned out the lights?

  Gracie Allen : Yeah, she couldn't stand to look at George.

  Blanche Morton : Oh. Well, I'll bet George didn't waste any time when the lights were out.

  Gracie Allen : Oh, I'll say he didn't! He ate all the black jellybeans!

• Gracie Allen : George, could I have the car keys? I have to go downtown.

  George Burns : Oh, you haven't renewed your driver's license. If they catch you without a license, they'll throw ya in jail.

  Gracie Allen : Well, I'll drive so fast they can't catch me!

• George Burns : What's that?

  Gracie Allen : Electric cords, I had them shortened. This one's for the iron and this one's for the floor lamp and this one's for the table lamp...

  George Burns : Well, why did you shorten them?

  Gracie Allen : To save electricity!

• George Burns : I'd be glad to drive you downtown but I've got some work to do.

  Gracie Allen : Well, then let me use the car. I'm a very careful driver, its the other people who are careless.

  George Burns : Look, Gracie...

  Gracie Allen : You know, last week I was driving down a one-way street and every car I met was going the wrong way!

• Gracie Allen : I don't approve of bowling! It can't be nice if you have to do it in an alley!

• Bill Goodwin : I've got a date to eat with the producer and you can't be late when you're having Pasternak for lunch!

  Gracie Allen : Won't they warm it up for you?

• Bill Goodwin : You know, girls, I'm gettin' a little tired of those small car jokes. Now, it's a British car and they make 'em smaller because there's a shortage of gasoline in England. Or, I guess I should call it petrol.

  Gracie Allen : No, that might confuse me. Call it England.