- George Burns: [monologue] Sports can be overdone, too, you know. A friend of mine was crazy about fishing. Every spare moment he had, he went out fishing. Finally, his wife told him - either he gives up fishing or she's gonna leave him. Now, when he speaks about the big one that got away - he means his wife.
- Blanche Morton: I think it's wonderful the way you and Jim share things together.
- Mr. Boardman: Yes, I've always believed in a strong father and son relationship.
- Gracie Allen: Oh, so have I! In fact, if a son and father weren't related to each other, they wouldn't even be in the same family!
- Blanche Morton: Anyhow, I admire what you've done with Jim.
- Mr. Boardman: Well, I felt it was my duty to share his experiences. Of course, I wasn't always able to keep him out of mischief. You know, boys will be boys.
- Gracie Allen: Well, when they're young it's the nicest thing they could be.
- Mr. Boardman: When he joined the Boy Scouts, I became Scoutmaster to the troupe in which he belonged. Oh, I shared many happy moments with Jim and the other lads.
- Gracie Allen: Oh, it must have been fun!
- Mr. Boardman: Yes, it was. I taught them how to build campfires, how to boil meat on a stick and how to bake potatoes in their skins.
- Gracie Allen: I hope it was a big campfire.
- Mr. Boardman: Why?
- Gracie Allen: Well, otherwise the boys might have caught cold, sitting around with nothing on, waiting for the meat and potatoes to be cooked.
- Mr. Boardman: No, I meant they were in their jackets.
- Gracie Allen: Well, they could have caught cold from here down too, you know!
- Blanche Morton: Oh no, no, honey, the baked potatoes were in their jackets.
- Gracie Allen: Well, alright, that kept their jackets warm, but from here down they were still in trouble!
- Mr. Boardman: Mrs. Burns, the jackets were on the potatoes.
- Gracie Allen: Oh. Then the boys were cold from here up too. What kind of a Scoutmaster were you?
- Blanche Morton: Mr. Boardman's a wonderful father! Gee, George should be more like him. He should do more things with his son and be closer to him.
- Gracie Allen: Why should George do things with Mr. Boardman's son? He's got a son of his own to be close to!