Family Guy (TV Series)
It's a Trap! (2011)
Seth Green: Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker
Photos
Quotes
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Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Look at that! Blowing up rebel ships! Bet that gets you going. You hate me now? Come on. Take that lightsaber and try to strike me down, and your journey to the dark side will be complete.
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : I've seen a lot of ships get blown up. It's no big deal.
Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Yeah, I guess that wouldn't get under my skin, either. Not the way Seth Green gets under my skin.
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Huh?
Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Yeah. Boy, that guy rubs me the wrong way. I mean, has he ever made anything successful? Greg the Bunny, Four Kings, and that godawful puppet show. It's on, like, channel 100 or something.
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Well, I think he's had some successes. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was successful.
Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : It was not popular. Entertainment Weekly said it was popular, but it wasn't. Hardly anybody watched that show.
Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Yeah, I never caught it.
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Well, he's been in some big movies. The Austin Powers movies grossed, like, a billion dollars.
Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : What, because of Seth Green? Do you ever hear anyone say, "Hey, let's go see that new Austin Powers; Seth Green's in it"?
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : You're not getting to me, man. You're talking about an actor who I happen to enjoy.
Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Well, I certainly enjoyed him in "Entourage", 'cause in that show he was playing himself: an asshole.
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Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : [to Jabba] Greetings, exalted one. It's me, Luke Skywalker. I seek an audience with Your Slimness to bargain for Captain Solo's life. As a token of my good will, I present to you a gift, these two droids.
Glenn Quagmire as C-3PO : Wait a minute, does he have the right to give us away? He just stole us from his dead uncle.
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Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Give yourself to the dark side, Luke.
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : I will not fight you.
Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Well, all right. I guess that's no problem. I can always get Seth Green to fight me. He'll do anything for money. I mean, did you see Sex Drive? Oh, of course you didn't. You're a person. Of course, I guess it did respectable foreign numbers. Asians really liked it. And you gotta hand it to Seth Green. I mean, he works hard, you know? I mean, the work is much harder when you know the project is no good. Still, all those small paychecks must add up. I wonder if his fan base knows how Jewish he really is.
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Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Master Yoda, is Darth Vader my father?
Carl as Yoda : Yeah, it's either Darth Vader or Paul Reiser, but they don't want to know which one is your real father, so, they're gonna raise you together.
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Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Oh! Can you play the theme from E.T., John Williams?
John Williams : No, but I can do the theme to Entertainment Tonight.
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Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : What the hell, man? I was gonna make it!
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe.
Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Fuck you! You murdered me, you ass.
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John Herbert as Obi-Wan Kenobi : Luke, you have a sister.
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : A sister? Who is it?
John Herbert as Obi-Wan Kenobi : Who the hell you think it is? Who's the only damn woman in the galaxy?
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Leia!
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Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : I thought you should know, young Skywalker, that your friends are walking into a trap.
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Wow. You're white? You totally sounded black on the phone.
Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Silence! You will turn to the dark side, and your precious rebellion will be destroyed. Oh!
[mockingly]
Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : I'm afraid the shield generator will be quite operational when your friends arrive.
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Jeez, you don't have to be a dick about it.
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Cleveland Brown as R2-D2 : Oh, Luke! Did you want me to throw you your lightsaber?
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Yeah, about 10 minutes ago!
Cleveland Brown as R2-D2 : Just so you know, the compartment I keep your lightsaber is in my rectum.
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Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : How are we gonna get out of here?
Cleveland Brown as R2-D2 : Wait a second, guys. I got an idea. Remember that laser I used to break Leia out of Jabba's handcuffs? Well, here comes a little tiny saw!
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Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : [awkwardly] Um, Leia. Wow.
Lois Griffin as Princess Leia : [in slave outfit] I didn't get raped. Okay?
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Okay.
Lois Griffin as Princess Leia : [adamantly] Okay?
Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Okay!