Family Guy (TV Series)

It's a Trap! (2011)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin as Han Solo, Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader, Brian Griffin as Chewbacca, Glenn Quagmire as C-3PO, Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine, Roger as Moff Jerjerrod, Tim the Bear as Wickett, Live Studio Ostrich, Pee-wee Herman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : The end. And that's the final chapter in the Star Wars saga.

  Meg Griffin : What about the prequels?

  Peter Griffin : I think "The Cleveland Show" is gonna do those.

• Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Look at that! Blowing up rebel ships! Bet that gets you going. You hate me now? Come on. Take that lightsaber and try to strike me down, and your journey to the dark side will be complete.

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : I've seen a lot of ships get blown up. It's no big deal.

  Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Yeah, I guess that wouldn't get under my skin, either. Not the way Seth Green gets under my skin.

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Huh?

  Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Yeah. Boy, that guy rubs me the wrong way. I mean, has he ever made anything successful? Greg the Bunny, Four Kings, and that godawful puppet show. It's on, like, channel 100 or something.

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Well, I think he's had some successes. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was successful.

  Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : It was not popular. Entertainment Weekly said it was popular, but it wasn't. Hardly anybody watched that show.

  Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Yeah, I never caught it.

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Well, he's been in some big movies. The Austin Powers movies grossed, like, a billion dollars.

  Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : What, because of Seth Green? Do you ever hear anyone say, "Hey, let's go see that new Austin Powers; Seth Green's in it"?

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : You're not getting to me, man. You're talking about an actor who I happen to enjoy.

  Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Well, I certainly enjoyed him in "Entourage", 'cause in that show he was playing himself: an asshole.

• Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : [to Jabba]  Greetings, exalted one. It's me, Luke Skywalker. I seek an audience with Your Slimness to bargain for Captain Solo's life. As a token of my good will, I present to you a gift, these two droids.

  Glenn Quagmire as C-3PO : Wait a minute, does he have the right to give us away? He just stole us from his dead uncle.

• Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Give yourself to the dark side, Luke.

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : I will not fight you.

  Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Well, all right. I guess that's no problem. I can always get Seth Green to fight me. He'll do anything for money. I mean, did you see Sex Drive? Oh, of course you didn't. You're a person. Of course, I guess it did respectable foreign numbers. Asians really liked it. And you gotta hand it to Seth Green. I mean, he works hard, you know? I mean, the work is much harder when you know the project is no good. Still, all those small paychecks must add up. I wonder if his fan base knows how Jewish he really is.

• Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! I just... I don't understand why... I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change in Atlanta.

• Peter Griffin as Han Solo : [referring to Mon Mothma]  Hey, check it out, it's another chick! The only other chick in the galaxy!

  Lois Griffin as Princess Leia : I don't like her.

• Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : What the hell, man? I was gonna make it!

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe.

  Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : Fuck you! You murdered me, you ass.

• Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : [after Luke is injured during the lightsaber duel]  We'll be lucky to come out of this without a lawsuit!

• Stewie Griffin : [after the power goes of]  Oh god, we're going to do Jedi, aren't we?

• Peter Griffin as Han Solo : I know that laugh. It's the 7Up guy. Now say, "Crisp and clean, no caffeine"

• Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : I thought you should know, young Skywalker, that your friends are walking into a trap.

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Wow. You're white? You totally sounded black on the phone.

  Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : Silence! You will turn to the dark side, and your precious rebellion will be destroyed. Oh!

  [mockingly] 

  Carter Pewterschmidt as Emperor Palpatine : I'm afraid the shield generator will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

  Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker : Jeez, you don't have to be a dick about it.

• Peter Griffin as Han Solo : All right, everybody, hands in the air! All right. Now I want you to take off your helmets, go outside and dig up your own graves with them.

  Lois Griffin as Princess Leia : Han, that's kind of dark.

  Peter Griffin as Han Solo : Shut up! There's enough cutesy crap in this movie. I think we all need this. Now get outside!

• Glenn Quagmire as C-3PO : The mighty Jabba has decreed that you are to be thrown in the Sarlacc pit. There, you will discover a new meaning of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over 1,000 years.

  Peter Griffin as Han Solo : No sweat. I'm bringing a box of All-Bran. I'll be sprayed all over the desert in a week. Right? Big lips on a stick knows what I'm talking about.

  Sy Snoodles : Ha! Fiber!

• Peter Griffin as Han Solo : Hey, take your helmet off. I'll do "got your nose."

  Stormtrooper : We're not supposed to take these off, but I really want to see that.

  Peter Griffin as Han Solo : What the hell? Your head is so small.

  Stormtrooper : Yeah, that's why we wear these big helmets. It's a lot more intimidating.

  Peter Griffin as Han Solo : I'll be honest with you. I don't like people who are different.

  [shoots Stormtrooper in the head] 

• Peter Griffin as Han Solo : Hey, Leia, you got a date for the We Just Killed Thousands of People Dance tonight?

  Lois Griffin as Princess Leia : No.

  Peter Griffin as Han Solo : You do now. Pick you up at 7:00. And save Yub Nub for me. Come to think of it, you can shave your yub nub for me, too! I'll see you at 7:00.

• Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader : That's the power of "please", kids.

• Glenn Quagmire as C-3PO : Victims of the almighty Sarlacc! His Excellency hopes that you will die honorably. But, should any of you wish to beg for mercy, the great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pleas.

  Peter Griffin as Han Solo : [worriedly]  Please don't kill us! We won't do it again, honest! We'll be good, mister! We was just fooling around, is all!