Mulligan (II) (2012)

Vincent Teninty: Officer Frank

Quotes 

• Officer Frank : Don't shit me, kid. I ain't in your colon and I ain't dropping into any porcelain bowl.

  John Hanson : I really think I'm older than you.

  Officer Frank : May be, son, but I'm wearing a hand-cannon that's almost as big as my Johnson. And I never did like back talk.

  John Hanson : Officer, we're not looking for trouble. Just a little beer by the lake. A couple of VHS tapes.

  Officer Frank : I respect that. But don't drink and boat. You can call me Frank. I'll be frank to you if you'll be frank to me.

• Officer Frank : It's not like the old days, when we used to let our daughters swim naked with the Indians.

• Officer Frank : [Officer Frank catches John and Alice digging on the golf course]  Well well well. If it isn't two little Indians. Vandalizing government property. You want to tell me what you're doing?

  [pause] 

  Officer Frank : Spit it out, boy. I didn't ask you how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

  John Hanson : I'm burying my father's ashes.

  Officer Frank : You're what?

  John Hanson : My father wanted his ashes buried on this golf course. I found the urn in his cabin. And we're burying them.

  Officer Frank : Where are they? The ashes?

  John Hanson : I already buried them.

  Officer Frank : Where's the urn?

  John Hanson : I threw it over there.

  Officer Frank : I can smell your shit, son. And I don't just mean that I'd like to.

  [Taking out his handcuffs] 

  Officer Frank : You've both bought yourselves a ticket to Frank's Hotel.