- [first lines]
- Announcer: 'Twas the morning before Christmas, and L.A. was hopping, and the boys were up early doing last minute shopping.
- James Diamond: [as an example of a Christmas miracle] I heard this old lady lost her artificial leg, right, and then found it the next morning in her stocking.
- James Diamond: You have the power to get us HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.
- Kelly Wainwright: And get yourself to Fiji.
- Gustavo Rocque: [mulling it over] Get me blank music sheets, thirteen candy canes, and a cup of cocoa with marshmallows piled high, because we're about to pull off a Big Time Christmas MIRACLE!
- [Katie gives Reginald a small Christmas tree]
- Reginald Bitters: [with disgust] Oh, how thoughtful. A holiday hand-me-down to get pine needles all over my lobby.
- Katie Knight: Tomorrow is Christmas, with toys and snow AND TOYS.
- Jennifer Knight: Christmas is not about toys. It's aabout giving and being with the people you love.
- Katie Knight, Kendall Knight, Carlos Garcia, Logan Mitchell: [in unison] No, it's about toys.
- Katie Knight: Mom, it's time to grab the hockey duffel... and pay for checked bags.
- Jennifer Knight: [gasps] That is airport LOSER talk! I raised you to be a winner!
- Gustavo Rocque: Three Christmas songs and make our flight by tonight? It can't be done!
- Arthur Griffin: Sure it can. It's called a Christmas miracle.
- Kendall Knight: [seeing Snoop's small gift] Hey, who's the present for?
- Snoop Dogg: Grandma.
- Logan Mitchell: Oh, cool. Is it, uh, diamond-encrusted dentures?
- James Diamond: Is it a platinum and emerald bracelet that says "Number One Grammy?"
- Carlos Garcia: Is it a helecopter?
- Carlos Garcia: I think he's choking.
- Kendall Knight: Oh.
- Gustavo Rocque: It's another Christmas miracle!