How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Architect of Destruction (2010)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Quotes 

• Barney : Because new is always better.

  Ted Mosby : And this theory applies to everything?

  Barney : Everything.

  Ted Mosby : So, those new Star Wars movies... Those are better than the old ones?

  Barney : Yeah. The first three barely mention the intricacies of intergalactic trade law.

  Ted Mosby : And when you're at a Guns N' Roses concert, you're like, "yeah, yeah, Paradise City, whatever. When are they gonna rock me some Chinese Democracy"?

  Barney : Axl's really matured as a songwriter, Ted.

• Marshall Eriksen : How's it going with Robin?

  Max : I think I have to break up with her.

  Marshall Eriksen : Why?

  Barney : *You* with *her*?

  Max : Yeah, well, there's this kind of weird thing she likes to do in the bedroom. It just makes me uncomfortable.

  Barney : I get it.

  Ted Mosby : Yeah, that is not for everyone!

  Marshall Eriksen : What's not for everyone?

  [Everyone looks at him awkwardly] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Guys, come on! What is it?

  Max : Come on, bro! It's the locker-room!

• Ted Mosby : I can't do this if it means tearing down the Arcadian. It's an architectural landmark. Plus, people live there. How does GNB plan to get hundreds of residents to just up and leave?

  Barney : Snakes.

  Ted Mosby : Did you just say snakes?

  Barney : I don't recall saying snakes.

• Ted Mosby : Did GNB really put snakes in the Arcadian?

  Barney : No. Technically they were eggs.

  Ted Mosby : Did you just say eggs?

  Barney : I don't recall saying eggs.

• Barney : Dude working together is going to be legen- wait for it... I'll send you an inter office memo with the rest because we friggin' work together!

• Barney : [girls talking about penis size]  How can you speak of such things?

  Lily : You kidding? Barney every time I mention a woman you don t know, the first thing you say is: "Boobs?". Not the complete sentence like : "Does she have big boobs?" which also would not be great. Just, "Boobs?"

  Barney : I do not do that!

  Lily : my friend Lori from work...

  Barney : Boobs?... Damn it

• Barney : Ted, I know you love classic stuff no one cares about, but I'm gonna give you four words to live by: New Is Always Better.

  Ted Mosby : New is always better?

  Barney : Ted, you know who's a million times hotter than the hottest girl I've ever slept with? Her okay-looking friend I haven't seen naked. Why? Because new is always better.

• Barney : Don't you get it, Ted? We're tearing down the Arcadian either way. It's a stupid old piece of crap, run down, snake infested dump!

  Ted Mosby : Ok, are there or aren't there snakes?

  Barney : Who mentioned snakes! And stop shouting, you're scaring Cottontail.