The Almighty Johnsons (TV Series)

It's a Kind of a Birthday Present (2011)

Emmett Skilton: Axl Johnson

Quotes 

• Axl Johnson : But I am a god, right?

  Mike Johnson : Yes, Axl, you are now a God.

  Anders Johnson : Any chance you could put your pants on, be a pants-on God?

• Axl Johnson : I thought I was meeting a grandpa I don't have.

  Olaf Johnson : Surprise. It's a bit of a shock, I know, but the truth is... I'm your granddad, not your cousin. I'm ninety-two years old, nearly ninety-three.

  Axl Johnson : Okay, someone's been doing' the magic mushrooms again, cuz.

• Axl Johnson : Nah. No way you dicks gods.

• Anders Johnson : [as Axl's about to step into the sacred circle]  Oh, take off you clothes.

  Axl Johnson : What?

  Olaf Johnson : Look, you don't have to.

  Anders Johnson : Trust me, take off your clothes.

  Ty Johnson : [rolling eyes upward]  Gayest god ever.

  Anders Johnson : I loved that jacket. It was totally ruined.

  Axl Johnson : What happened to the jacket?

  Mike Johnson : Just forget about the jacket. You said you'd do as I say and... Yeah, actually in the nuddy's probably best.

  Axl Johnson : [smiling]  You're gonna film this and play it at the party, right?

  Mike Johnson : No, Axl. This... stays between us.

• Axl Johnson : [struck by lightning]  What. A. Ru-u-u-u-u-u-ush!

  Ty Johnson : Now prepare to be underwhelmed.

• Mike Johnson : You come with me.

  Axl Johnson : If I'm Odin, how come you still get to tell me what to do?

  Mike Johnson : Because I'm still you big brother.

• Michele Brock : I know you're the birthday boy. How's it going.

  Axl Johnson : Great! Feel like a god.

  Michele Brock : [laughs]  Can you prove to me you're a god?

  Axl Johnson : I'll give it a shot.

  Michele Brock : If you catch me, you can have me.

• Mike Johnson : If you die before the quest is complete, we all die, too.

  Axl Johnson : Great. No pressure, then.