- Virginia Chance: [in sarcastic "festive spirit" voice, with fake smile] Hi, Kate! See you at Christmas Eve, you judgmental bitch!
- Maw Maw: [Looking at herself in the mirror, baffled by the fake beard on her face, not comprehending that she's been dressed up as Josef for Virginia's Nativity display] Who the hell moved my vagina?
- Church Member: [as Jimmy, dressed up as one of the Three Wise Men of the East, holds up high the last available copy of the most-wanted toy of the year, offering it for auction] It's the Baby Sneezes!