- Old Lady: So, where are you live?
- Stuart: [hiding under the table] I'm with some room mates up on the north side. It's kind of a house, but it's kind of falling apart.
- Old Lady: "It's kind of a house, but it's kind of falling apart."
- Stuart: Yes, ma'am.
- Old Lady: I think that describes your life right now, honey.
- [Cult leader Aliki is on his deathbed saying goodbye to his followers]
- Aliki: My beautiful Peter.
- [Peter gazes sorrowfully at Aliki]
- Aliki: I'm gonna miss touching my Peter... washing my Peter...
- Peter: I'm gonna miss you.
- Aliki: [turning to Nance] Nance.
- [Nance sniffles sadly]
- Aliki: You can be a real bitch.
- Nance: [weepily] Please don't go.
- Aliki: Nance, you're being a bitch.
- [Nance nods, still sniffling]
- Aliki: Okay? It's so bitchy of you to ask me to stay. I gotta go.
- [Nance shakes her head no]
- Aliki: Tell me to go.
- [Nance more intensely shakes her head no]
- Aliki: Don't be a bitch, Nance.
- Nance: [weepily] Go. Go.
- Aliki: Thank you, Nance.
- [Nance nods]
- Aliki: For dialing your bitch down a little bit.
- [Nance nods]
- Aliki: It means a lot to me.
- [turning to followers he doesn't know by name]
- Aliki: You three? You're nice people, I'm sure.
- [closes his eyes and commences death rattle]
- Nance: [shaking her head no, whispering through tears] Do not go.
- Aliki: [snaps out of it and looks at Nance] You're being a dumb bitch.
- [resumes death rattle]
- Book Store Customer: You know what, I, I have to go to the bathroom again, I've been here that long.
- [last lines]
- Peter: [hurrying back in] Hey, Dana, do you still work here?
- Waitress: Hi.
- Peter: Hi, how are you. Ya, we actually decided against the chicken. We're gonna do the salmon. Thanks.
- Waitress: Okay...
- [starts to walk away]
- Nance: Hey, you know what. Can you tell us a little about the salmon.
- Peter: Yeah, we have like a million questions about it.
- Waitress: Okay.
- Peter: When you come back.
- [Peter and Nance kiss]