Glee (TV Series)

The Sue Sylvester Shuffle (2011)

Dot-Marie Jones: Shannon Beiste

Photos 

Quotes 

• Azimio : [after Puck and Rachel sing "Need You Now"]  The girl with the mohawk had a really nice voice.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : [taking off his guitar]  Funny. Yeah, man. That's good.

  Will Schuester : Hey!

  [trying to contain an all-out brawl] 

  Will Schuester : Great first day, right?

  Shannon Beiste : Awesome.

• Finn Hudson : Dude, relax. This is gonna be fine

  Dave Karofsky : Yeah, of course it is. 'Cause I'm quitting Glee Club.

  Shannon Beiste : [entering]  No, you're not. Fact is, covered in ice and red dye number seven, you guys look more like a team than you ever have out on that field.

  Dave Karofsky : I don't care. I'm out.

  Shannon Beiste : Then you're off the team.

  Dave Karofsky : No way.

  Shannon Beiste : Yeah.

  Dave Karofsky : If we all quit, you barely have enough guys to play next week. It's the championship game. You're not gonna throw it away.

  Shannon Beiste : Try me.

• Will Schuester : Rachel, have you ever seen a tackle football game? When they tackle you, it hurts.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Yeah. And not in the good Mellencamp way.

  Rachel Berry : We thought about that. But the truth is, is that you guys don't really need us to play. You just need enough players out there to field a regulation team. So when they snap the ball, we're just gonna lie down on the ground. We're just gonna lie there.

  Lauren Zizes : Well, I'm not. I'm gonna bring the pain.

  Shannon Beiste : I guess they won't get hurt if you stay down.

  Will Schuester : Okay, what do your parents have to say about this?

  Tina Cohen-Chang : We all have signed permission slips from them. It took some convincing, but they understood what it means to all of us.

  Will Schuester : What do you think, Coach?

  Shannon Beiste : I think... welcome to the football team.

• Sam Evans : Why can't we just let them back on the team just for this game?

  Shannon Beiste : No. We carry this thing through, even if it means having to forfeit the game.

  Finn Hudson : I can't believe this is it.

  Rachel Berry : [sharing a look with Mercedes]  Maybe it isn't. We want to join the team.

  Artie Abrams : "We" who?

  Mercedes Jones : All of us Glee girls. We want to join the football team, and we want to play in the championship.

  Mike Chang : Come on, guys, stop screwing around. It's not cool.

  Lauren Zizes : What's not cool is you guys not respecting women enough to realize we're perfectly capable of playing football. And don't forget who the state champ in Greco-Roman wrestling is. I've got offers from three different professional wrestling organizations for after I graduate, so...

• Will Schuester : This stuff between the jocks and the Glee Club has been going on since I started running the club.

  Shannon Beiste : Maybe. It just seems like it's so much worse right now. I've won division championships at three different schools. You have to understand what winning means to a community. Grades go up, the streets are cleaner, crime goes down. It's a sense of pride, of unity. And this school deserves that.

  Will Schuester : And you are gonna get it for us. I mean, you won almost every game this year.

  Shannon Beiste : Winning conference was easy. The team we're up against for championship... they're much better than us. If you don't have the talent, you rely on the chemistry. They don't have to like each other, but they have to respect each other.

  Will Schuester : This whole thing is just so weird. I mean, half of your starters are in my Glee Club.

  Shannon Beiste : I just don't know what to do.

  Will Schuester : [getting an idea]  Do you trust me?

  Shannon Beiste : You're not gonna try and kiss me again, are you?

• Will Schuester : All right, New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.

  [overlapping angry shouting] 

  Mercedes Jones : Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Schue. Are you serious?

  Will Schuester : Hey! Come on! Guys!

  Shannon Beiste : Hey!

  Finn Hudson : Mr. Schue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer.

  Rachel Berry : And there's no way that I'm sharing the choir room with a known homophobe.

  Will Schuester : I don't disagree with you guys. But I talked to Coach Beiste about it, and she and I both agreed that the kind of bullying that David does is born out of ignorance. Having him in here, as difficult as it may be for us, is an opportunity to show him and the rest of the guys that being in Glee Club is kind of cool; find some common ground.

• Dave Karofsky : No freakin' way!

  Will Schuester : We don't have a choice. Sue pulled the Cheerios! from the game, so if we don't do it, there's no halftime show.

  Lauren Zizes : And this is a problem because...?

  Shannon Beiste : It's not a problem. It's an opportunity.

  Strando : Opportunity to humiliate ourselves.

  Shannon Beiste : Hey! The whole point of this week was to bring you guys together; to bring the school together.

  Azimio : Wait, so you want us to play the first half, change into some "sequeen" ball gowns, and then go out and do the halftime show at our championship game?

  Shannon Beiste : Yes.

  Azimio : It's the championship game! This is a crazy town.

• Shannon Beiste : What are you guys doing in here?

  Finn Hudson : Oh, we were gonna take our zombie makeup off for the second half. It's... it's kind of itchy.

  Shannon Beiste : No. Leave it on. Maybe we'll freak out the other guys a little bit, and we need all the help we can get right now.

• Shannon Beiste : [seeing the empty football sign-up sheet]  I cut 30 guys when we had tryouts at the beginning of the season. You're telling me not one of those guys wants to play?

  Will Schuester : It's like crossing a picket line. Nobody wants to be a scab.

• Shannon Beiste : [watching Sue on a tear in the locker room]  What the hell are you doing?

  Sue Sylvester : I'm sending a message. Sue Sylvester's done playing nice. I just got off the phone with the Ohio Cheerleading Board, and they accepted my request to move my regional to the same night as your championship game. Congratulations. You just lost your halftime show and the cheerleaders.

  Will Schuester : [she knocks items off the desk]  Sue!

  Shannon Beiste : What the crap are we gonna do now?

  Will Schuester : [getting an idea]  I got it.

• Shannon Beiste : All of you are gonna be in this Glee Club for one week, no exceptions.

  Dave Karofsky : She's bluffing. Next week is the championship game. Without us, she has no team.

  Shannon Beiste : With you, I have no team! You guys have gotta find a way to come together, or we're gonna get our asses kicked from here until Tuesday finds a saddlebag full of buckwheat.

  Azimio : If I have to stay, I'm not singing no show tunes. That is the music of my oppressors.

  Finn Hudson : Do you even have any idea what we do in here?

  Will Schuester : No. None of them do. We have to show them. Rachel, Puck, haven't you guys been working on something? Why don't you give it a whirl?

  Rachel Berry : Fine. As offended as I am by their presence here, I won't let anything get in the way of a performance.

• Finn Hudson : What about the Cheerios! in Glee Club?

  Will Schuester : They have a choice. Us, or the Cheerios! competition.

  Rachel Berry : Well, obviously, Quinn is gonna choose the Cheerios!. I mean...

  Finn Hudson : Well, that's not fair. You don't know what she's gonna do.

  Will Schuester : I think the cheerleading competition is gonna be a lot of fun, but if you go, you're gonna miss out on us doing the most iconic song of all time. The Super Bowl of pop anthems: "Thriller".

  [whoops and mutters of excitement] 

  Will Schuester : Yeah, remember a few years ago when that Philippine prison did that mega performance of "Thriller" and put it on YouTube? And in the four months it took to rehearse that number, prisoner-on-prisoner crime dropped 80%. Doing that, together, as a team, created a unity within that prison. And that's what I'm looking to do here.

  Mercedes Jones : I mean, don't get me wrong, you know, I'm big on Michael and everything, but isn't that kind of what they're expecting us to do?

  Will Schuester : Which is why we're gonna mash it together with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' equally spooky single "Heads Will Roll."

  Azimio : [more mutters of excitement]  Who's Yeah Yeah Yeah?

  Shannon Beiste : All right, New Directions, Titans, we're going to zombie camp.