Glee (TV Series)

The Sue Sylvester Shuffle (2011)

Lea Michele: Rachel Berry

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rachel Berry : Finn's too proud to complain. He feels like he has to be strong for everyone, but I know it's just killing him inside. I hope he realizes that, you know, if he and I were still together, I could make him feel a lot better, you know.

  Kurt Hummel : Let it go, Rachel.

  Rachel Berry : I... I just wish that there was a way that we could help. That's all.

  Mercedes Jones : Yeah. And the worst part is how bummed the guys are. I mean, they already suffer enough abuse just being in Glee. I really think winning the game could have eased some of the pressure, at least for a little while.

  Blaine Anderson : Wait, so the whole team quit?

  Mercedes Jones : Everybody not in Glee. I mean, you can't play football with five guys. And one of them is in a wheelchair.

  Rachel Berry : Yeah, Coach Beiste put up a sign-up sheet for people to join. I think they'll take anyone at this point.

  Blaine Anderson : Well, the good news is, you actually only need four more guys. High school regulations actually let you play a couple guys short, if you want to. But if they figure out a way to make it work, you can bet that we'll definitely be there to cheer 'em on.

• Will Schuester : Rachel, have you ever seen a tackle football game? When they tackle you, it hurts.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Yeah. And not in the good Mellencamp way.

  Rachel Berry : We thought about that. But the truth is, is that you guys don't really need us to play. You just need enough players out there to field a regulation team. So when they snap the ball, we're just gonna lie down on the ground. We're just gonna lie there.

  Lauren Zizes : Well, I'm not. I'm gonna bring the pain.

  Shannon Beiste : I guess they won't get hurt if you stay down.

  Will Schuester : Okay, what do your parents have to say about this?

  Tina Cohen-Chang : We all have signed permission slips from them. It took some convincing, but they understood what it means to all of us.

  Will Schuester : What do you think, Coach?

  Shannon Beiste : I think... welcome to the football team.

• Sam Evans : Why can't we just let them back on the team just for this game?

  Shannon Beiste : No. We carry this thing through, even if it means having to forfeit the game.

  Finn Hudson : I can't believe this is it.

  Rachel Berry : [sharing a look with Mercedes]  Maybe it isn't. We want to join the team.

  Artie Abrams : "We" who?

  Mercedes Jones : All of us Glee girls. We want to join the football team, and we want to play in the championship.

  Mike Chang : Come on, guys, stop screwing around. It's not cool.

  Lauren Zizes : What's not cool is you guys not respecting women enough to realize we're perfectly capable of playing football. And don't forget who the state champ in Greco-Roman wrestling is. I've got offers from three different professional wrestling organizations for after I graduate, so...

• Will Schuester : All right, New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.

  [overlapping angry shouting] 

  Mercedes Jones : Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Schue. Are you serious?

  Will Schuester : Hey! Come on! Guys!

  Shannon Beiste : Hey!

  Finn Hudson : Mr. Schue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer.

  Rachel Berry : And there's no way that I'm sharing the choir room with a known homophobe.

  Will Schuester : I don't disagree with you guys. But I talked to Coach Beiste about it, and she and I both agreed that the kind of bullying that David does is born out of ignorance. Having him in here, as difficult as it may be for us, is an opportunity to show him and the rest of the guys that being in Glee Club is kind of cool; find some common ground.

• Blaine Anderson : Now, I don't want to sound cocky or anything, but you guys better be pulling out all the stops for regionals, because the number we just rehearsed is so off the hook, it's dangerous.

  Kurt Hummel : Seriously. People should wear protective headgear when they're watching it. Guys, we're kidding.

  Rachel Berry : Yeah, well, it's just hard to laugh right now with everything going on at McKinley.

  Mercedes Jones : I mean, look at us, the stars of two rival show choirs sitting down to coffee; our school is so messed up, we can't even keep our own football team together.

  Rachel Berry : It's so sad, you guys. Coach Beiste and Mr. Schue were so close at getting everyone at the school together.

  Kurt Hummel : Why hasn't Finn told anything about this? I mean, we live together. I mean, I bring him a glass of warm milk every night, just in the hopes that we'll have a little lady-chat.

  Blaine Anderson : Warm milk? Really?

  Kurt Hummel : It's delicious.

• Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : I really want to win this game, and I figure it's the only way us Glee studs are ever gonna get any respect around here.

  Finn Hudson : What's your point?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : My point is that none of that's gonna happen unless you and I become allies again, like Maverick and Iceman at the end of "Top Gun".

  Finn Hudson : So why'd you sing that duet with Rachel?

  Rachel Berry : [flashback to the choir room]  I need you to do this number with me to make Finn jealous.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Nothing like that will ever happen again. You lead, and I got your back. We need to win this championship and become legends.

• Shannon Beiste : All of you are gonna be in this Glee Club for one week, no exceptions.

  Dave Karofsky : She's bluffing. Next week is the championship game. Without us, she has no team.

  Shannon Beiste : With you, I have no team! You guys have gotta find a way to come together, or we're gonna get our asses kicked from here until Tuesday finds a saddlebag full of buckwheat.

  Azimio : If I have to stay, I'm not singing no show tunes. That is the music of my oppressors.

  Finn Hudson : Do you even have any idea what we do in here?

  Will Schuester : No. None of them do. We have to show them. Rachel, Puck, haven't you guys been working on something? Why don't you give it a whirl?

  Rachel Berry : Fine. As offended as I am by their presence here, I won't let anything get in the way of a performance.

• Finn Hudson : What about the Cheerios! in Glee Club?

  Will Schuester : They have a choice. Us, or the Cheerios! competition.

  Rachel Berry : Well, obviously, Quinn is gonna choose the Cheerios!. I mean...

  Finn Hudson : Well, that's not fair. You don't know what she's gonna do.

  Will Schuester : I think the cheerleading competition is gonna be a lot of fun, but if you go, you're gonna miss out on us doing the most iconic song of all time. The Super Bowl of pop anthems: "Thriller".

  [whoops and mutters of excitement] 

  Will Schuester : Yeah, remember a few years ago when that Philippine prison did that mega performance of "Thriller" and put it on YouTube? And in the four months it took to rehearse that number, prisoner-on-prisoner crime dropped 80%. Doing that, together, as a team, created a unity within that prison. And that's what I'm looking to do here.

  Mercedes Jones : I mean, don't get me wrong, you know, I'm big on Michael and everything, but isn't that kind of what they're expecting us to do?

  Will Schuester : Which is why we're gonna mash it together with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' equally spooky single "Heads Will Roll."

  Azimio : [more mutters of excitement]  Who's Yeah Yeah Yeah?

  Shannon Beiste : All right, New Directions, Titans, we're going to zombie camp.