Family Guy (TV Series)
And I'm Joyce Kinney (2011)
Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Trailer Narrator, Old Filmmaker, Church Goer #4
Photos
Quotes
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Tom Tucker : Holy shit that just turned out, awful. Joyce, do your thing.
Joyce Kinney : Thanks, Tom. Pornography, the very word conjures up the images and red light districts, unprotected sex, and of course, the turn of the century pornograph machine.
Early pornographer : Whoahoho, Sweet Mary!
Joyce Kinney : But it seems pornography has found our way to its neighborhood. Yes, local housewife and church organist Lois Griffin has revealed to this reporter that she appeared in a pornographic movie back in the early 1980s.
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Stewie Griffin : [with Lois at the grocery store] My God, does everything have to have a mascot these days? I mean, look, there's a lion in overalls on the aluminum foil. I mean, wh-who is that for?
[Lois takes a package of foil off the shelf]
Stewie Griffin : No, Lois, don't get that one! Get the one with the lion in overalls!
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Priest : Let me remind you all that this Saturday at 5:00 p.m., we'll have vespers, not to be confused with with the Italian motor scooter.
[the congregation laughs politely, with Lois cackling audibly louder]
Lois Griffin : Vespers!
Priest : And don't forget, next weekend we will have the Sunday afternoon family picnic, as God said to Noah, weather permitting.
[more polite laughter and Lois' loud cackling]
Lois Griffin : Stop it!
Priest : And another reminder, when you arrive to Mass, please do not park behind the rectory. As the Corinthians said to the Galatians, "That's my land."
Lois Griffin : [roaring with laughter again] Oh, ho, ho! Look out, Gallagher!
Peter Griffin : Stop kissing ass.
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Lois Griffin : [getting a tour of the television news station] Oh, this is all so fascinating. You must have so many stories.
Joyce Kinney : Well, look, If you want to grab a drink with me later tonight, I'd be happy to tell you some.
Lois Griffin : Oh, my God, I would love to. Look at me, huh? Stepping out on the town with a big celebrity.
Joyce Kinney : Well, I think you're exaggerating.
Lois Griffin : No, you're a lady big shot, like Miss Piggy.
[cut to backstage at "The Muppet Show", where Kermit has a black eye, bandages around where his ribs would be, and is on crutches]
Fozzie Bear : Hey, Kermit, what happened to the "Bears in Space" sketch?
Kermit the Frog : Sorry, it's "Pigs in Space" now. There's been a change.
Fozzie Bear : What?
Kermit the Frog : There's been a change!
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Lois Griffin : [bumping into Joyce at the store] Excuse me, Ms. Kinney? I don't mean to bother you, but my name is Lois Griffin. I-I am a huge fan, and I just think you are doing a fantastic job. And after what I went through with Diane Simmons, well, let me just say it's nice to be standing here with no one trying to murder me.
Stewie Griffin : [in the cart, with one of his ray guns aimed at her] Yeah, no, you're fine.
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Stewie Griffin : Bilf.