Game of Thrones (TV Series)

Lord Snow (2011)

Peter Dinklage: Tyrion Lannister

Quotes 

• Tyrion Lannister : So... you roam the Seven Kingdoms collaring pickpockets and horse thieves and bring them here as eager recruits.

  Yoren : Aye. Well, it's not all of 'em's done bad things. Some of 'em's just poor lads looking for steady feed. Some of 'em's highborn lads looking for glory.

  Tyrion Lannister : Better chance of finding feed than glory.

  Benjen Stark : [walks in]  The Night's Watch is a joke to you, is it? Is that what we are, Lannister? An army of jesters in black?

  Tyrion Lannister : You don't have enough men to be an army, and aside from Yoren here, none of you are particularly funny.

  Benjen Stark : I hope we provided you with some good stories to tell when you're back in King's Landing. That's something to think about when you're drinking your wine down there, enjoying your brothels. Half the boys you've seen training will die north of the Wall. Might be a wildling's axe that gets them. Might be sickness. Might just be the cold. They die in pain... and they do it so plump little lords like you can enjoy their summer afternoons in peace and comfort.

  Tyrion Lannister : [to Yoren]  Do you think I'm plump?

  [Yoren smiles and looks away] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Listen, Benjen - may I call you Benjen?

  Benjen Stark : Call me what you like.

  Tyrion Lannister : I'm not sure what I've done to offend you. I have great admiration for the Night's Watch. I have great admiration for you as First Ranger...

  Benjen Stark : You know, my brother once told me that nothing someone says before the word "but" really counts.

  Tyrion Lannister : But... I don't believe that giants and ghouls and white walkers are lurking beyond the Wall. I believe that the only difference between us and the wildlings is that when that Wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it.

  Benjen Stark : You're right. The wildlings are no different from us. A little rougher, maybe. But they're made of meat and bone. I know how to track 'em and I know how to kill 'em. It's not the wildlings giving me sleepless nights. You've never been north of the Wall, so don't tell me what's out there.

  [Benjen turns to leave] 

  Yoren : You going below?

  [Yoren and Benjen shake hands] 

  Yoren : Keep well, keep warm.

  Benjen Stark : Enjoy the capital, brother.

  Yoren : Oh, I always do.

  [Benjen walks out] 

  Tyrion Lannister : I think he's starting to like me.

• Yoren : Bear's balls.

  Tyrion Lannister : Oh, you're joking.

  Yoren : And his brains, and his guts, his lungs, and his heart, all fried in his own fat. Well, when you're a hundred miles north of the Wall and you ate your last meal a week ago, you leave nothing for the wolves.

  Tyrion Lannister : And how do a bear's balls taste?

  Yoren : Bit chewy.

  [Tyrion and Yoren laugh] 

  Yoren : What about you, my lord? What's the strangest thing you've eaten?

  Tyrion Lannister : Do Dornish girls count?

  [Tyrion and Yoren laugh again] 

• Tyrion Lannister : No one turns away a Lannister.

• Tyrion Lannister : Never forget what you are, the rest of world will not. Wear it like an armor and it can never be used to hurt you.

• Jon Snow : I'm sorry to see you leave, Lannister.

  Tyrion Lannister : It's either me or this cold. And it doesn't appear to be going anywhere.

  Jon Snow : Will you stop at Winterfell on your way south?

  Tyrion Lannister : I expect I will. Gods know there aren't many feather beds between here and King's Landing.

  Jon Snow : If you see my brother Bran, tell him I miss him. Tell him I'd visit if I could.

  Tyrion Lannister : Of course.

  Jon Snow : He'll never walk again.

  Tyrion Lannister : If you're going to be a cripple, it's better to be a rich cripple.

• Grenn : You broke my nose, bastard!

  [Jon gives Grenn a once-over] 

  Jon Snow : It's an improvement.

  [as they grab Jon, Grenn puts a dagger to his throat] 

  Grenn : If we threw you over the Wall, I wonder how long it would take you to hit.

  Pypar : I wonder if they'd find you before the wolves did.

  [Tyrion enters behind them] 

  Grenn : What are you looking at, half-man?

  Tyrion Lannister : I'm looking at you. Yes. You've got an interesting face. Hmm, very distinctive faces. All of you.

  Rast : And what do you care about our faces?

  Tyrion Lannister : It's just I think they would look marvelous decorating spikes in King's Landing. Perhaps I'll write my sister, the queen, about it.

  [Grenn lets Jon go] 

  Grenn : We'll talk later, Lord Snow.

  Jon Snow : Everybody knew what this place was and no one told me. No one but you. My father knew and he left me to rot at the Wall all the same.

  Tyrion Lannister : Grenn's father left him, too, outside a farmhouse when he was three. Pyp was caught stealing a wheel of cheese. His little sister hadn't eaten in three days. He was given a choice: his right hand or the Wall. I've been asking the Lord Commander about them. Fascinating stories.

  Jon Snow : They hate me because I'm better than they are.

  Tyrion Lannister : It's a lucky thing none of them were trained by a master-at-arms like your Ser Rodrik. I don't imagine any of them have ever held a real sword before they came here.

  [Tyrion turns to leave] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Oh... your brother Bran.

  [Tyrion hands over a parchment note] 

  Tyrion Lannister : He's woken up.