Mass Effect 3 (2012 Video Game)

Robin Sachs: Zaeed Massani

Quotes 

• Commander Shepard - Male : What're you up to now, Zaeed?

  Zaeed Massani : Next time another clone of yours tries stealing your life, we'll have a nice little surprise rigged for them. Isn't that right, Garrus?

  Garrus Vakarian : [Over Zaeed's radio]  Spared no expense.

  Zaeed Massani : So, in walks your clone, takes a look around, sees this great hot tub and says to themself, "hey, I fancy a dip."

  Garrus Vakarian : Big mistake.

  Zaeed Massani : Huge. The minute they put so much as a toe in the water, a timer starts counting down.

  Commander Shepard - Male : To what?

  Zaeed Massani : Arma-fucking-geddon. Thirty seconds later, this baby heats right up.

  Commander Shepard - Male : And then what?

  Zaeed Massani : You ever swim a few laps on the surface of the sun? No? Well, your clone will be. Heh-heh. That'll teach 'em.

  Commander Shepard - Male : But what if I want to use the hot tub?

  Zaeed Massani : Covered that. It's keyed to your DNA.

  Commander Shepard - Male : But a clone would have the same DNA as me.

  Zaeed Massani : Goddamned clone.

• Urdnot Grunt : The Prothean here wants to know who would win in a fight between me and Wrex.

  Zaeed Massani : You gotta admit Shepard, it's a good question.

  Commander Shepard - Male : It *is* a good question.

  Urdnot Wrex : No, it isn't. Baby pyjak here wouldn't stand a chance.

  Urdnot Grunt : Don't listen to this old fossil. The only thing he could defeat is a glass of warm milk.

  Urdnot Wrex : Ha! I got head lice bigger than you, Junior.

• [looking at a painting in Shepard's apartment] 

  Samara : Hello, Shepard. Zaeed was just keeping me company.

  Zaeed Massani : Hello there.

  Commander Shepard - Female : You're admiring the art?

  Zaeed Massani : Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder, eh, Shepard?

  [to Samara] 

  Zaeed Massani : Eh, beautiful?

  Commander Shepard - Female : What do you think, Samara?

  Zaeed Massani : Hang on, hang on. Don't get all snooty on me. I didn't say I didn't like it. I do like it, actually.

  Samara : If I'm completely honest, I'm not sure what it is. I like the way the colors blend, and the depth of the... actually, I have no idea what I'm saying.

  Zaeed Massani : It makes me feel uneasy. Like when you're alone in the dark, lying in wait, and the cold wind brushes across your face like the kiss of death.

  Commander Shepard - Female : Huh.

  Samara : You are a complicated individual, Zaeed Massani.

  Zaeed Massani : You bet your sweet asari arse.