- Arkady Balagan: [hotel GM Barbara Stillwell has just left after chewing out head of security Hugo Lum] Good evening. See, Hugo, you should have been a priest, then you'd only have to kiss your boss's ring.
- Hugo Lum: What the hell d'you want, Balagan?
- Arkady Balagan: I have an assignment that only you can accomplish.
- Hugo Lum: Ya, well I am not your errand boy, and you heard her.
- Arkady Balagan: Do you do everything that your boss asks you to?
- Hugo Lum: Of course not; I just pretend to.
- Gurjit Bhatti: [carrying a couple of bags of fast food & soft drinks] Hugo, Hugo, the Special was on special: only $2.99.
- Hugo Lum: What? Lost my appetite
- [grabbing some food on his way out]
- Arkady Balagan: Hugo, don't cry.
- Gurjit Bhatti: Mr B, what's the matter with him?
- Arkady Balagan: Interspecies communication is fraught with challenges.
- Arkady Balagan: [referring to Gurjit's CV] he recites it just the way he learned it, as does everyone else. The question is: What is he hiding from?
- Sam Besht: Maybe he's a spy
- Arkady Balagan: What country would hire Gurjit? Absurdistan?
- Arkady Balagan: [referring to Gurjit's CV] he recites it just the way he learned it, as does everyone else. The question is: What is he hiding from?
- Rosemary Venturi: Maybe he's a spy
- Arkady Balagan: What country would hire Gurjit? Absurdistan?