- Lacey Rivers: So why are you here?
- Camille: I killed my husband.
- Lacey Rivers: Oh.
- Camille: Stabbed him in the chest six times.
- Lacey Rivers: Jeez. You must've been really mad at him.
- Camille: Same old Lifetime movie. He used me as a punching bag every night he'd come home after a bottle of whiskey. I felt worthless. Thought I deserved it. My only hope was Rhonda.
- Lacey Rivers: Rhonda?
- Camille: She lived down the road from me.
- Lacey Rivers: In the same trailer park?
- Camille: I didn't live in a trailer park.
- Lacey Rivers: Oh. Sorry.
- Camille: I fell real hard for that one.
- Lacey Rivers: So you're a...
- Camille: Don't worry. You're not my type.
- Lacey Rivers: Well, I did a guest spot on "The L Word", so I'm like totally cool with you guys.
- Camille: Eddie walked in on us. He went really crazy. I grabbed the nearest thing that I could find, and it happened to be a butcher knife.
- Lacey Rivers: Why did you have a butcher knife in the bedroom?
- Camille: We were on the kitchen table.
- Lacey Rivers: Oh. So it was self-defense.
- Camille: Yeah. That's not how the jury saw it. I got 20 years.
- Lilith: Prison can be a very scary place -- survival of the fittest and all that. What's a spoiled young Hollywood actress to do when thrown into the tank with all those sharks? Those are just the prison guards. No, Lacey Rivers is going to have to rely on her one skill she can count on -- her acting. You don't get $5 million a picture without any talent. Behind these locked doors, our little Lacey is about to give the performance of her life.
- Maxine: I heard you wanted to talk to me.
- Lacey Rivers: I've been thinking about our little proposition.
- Maxine: And?
- Lacey Rivers: And I think you should go to hell.
- Maxine: I'm sorry. What did you say to me?
- Lacey Rivers: Are you deaf and ugly? I said I think you should go to hell.
- [Rafe comes into the room]
- Maxine: We are having a private conversation. Can you go back to your station?
- [Rafe ignores her]
- Maxine: I said stand down, officer.
- [Lacy jumps down from the bed and puts a pillow case over her head]
- Lacey Rivers: Come up here! Under the mattress!
- Maxine: [muffled voice] Let go of me!
- Lacey Rivers: Come on, do it! Do it!
- [Maxine continues to shout under the pillowcase]
- Lacey Rivers: Go on, Rafe!
- Maxine: [Maxine muffles] Rafe!
- Lacey Rivers: It's the only way we can be together. Come on, do it.
- [Lacy throws Maxine at Rafe, the knife penetrates her, Maxine takes the pillowcase off her head]
- Lacey Rivers: Do it, come on. Finish her off. Come on, Rafe.
- Rafe: No.
- Lacey Rivers: Put her out of her misery.
- Lilith: Watch any Lacey Rivers movie, and you will always be treated to a happy ending. Well, Poor Lacey. She's about to discover that real life rarely turns out like a G-rated family film. Karma can be such a bitch.
- Maxine: You're going to be real popular in here.
- Lacey Rivers: I'm popular everywhere.
- Maxine: Tell that to the poor pedestrians you mowed down while Tweeting behind the wheel.
- Lacey Rivers: I should be in Prague right now shooting a movie.
- Maxine: Well, somebody better call Dakota Fanning because it looks like you're going to be unavailable!