Mathew Buck: Film Brain

Quotes 

• Film Brain : The whole "I'm fat" joke doesn't really work when you haven't put any weight on.

• Film Brain : We see Liv at work as a high-powered attorney. Ha ha ha ha, Kate Hudson as a high-powdered lawyer, now that's funny. Ha ha ha.

  Liv : It's an aggressive approach, and I think, judicially, we'll find favor, particularly if we pull Justice Givens.

  Film Brain : Oh, that wasn't meant to be a joke. Awkward.

• Liv : What do boys learn in school?

  Film Brain : I dunno, perspective?

• Film Brain : [about Liv's dyed hair]  I never knew MarzGurl was in this movie.

• Film Brain : I think a dance-off between MarzGurl and an Oompa-Loompa would probably be more entertaining than this, and a lot less embarrassing for everybody involved.

• Film Brain : This isn't funny. These are mean, vindictive women who I wouldn't want to be around, let alone watch a movie about.

• Film Brain : The film opens with a title sequence involving girly momentos. Oh boy, two minutes in and already I have too much of a penis for this movie.

• Film Brain : For me, this has been the hardest film to watch since Transmorphers. I don't think I've cringed so much or been more so depressed or angry at a movie in a long time. Fuck the people who made this movie, fuck Kate Hudson, and fuck this movie full stop. Good night!

• Film Brain : Believe me, Anne Hathaway flaunting her stuff on a rope is far less sexy than it sounds, and I like Anne Hathaway.

  Welshy : You keep sayin' that, ya big gay boy.

  Film Brain : I do, Welshy, I swear. But it's just not sexy or funny.

• Film Brain : All that hard partying made Liv forget about her big meeting. Maybe it's just me, but maybe I wouldn't schedule my bachelorette party before my big meeting, you cretin.

• Film Brain : Obviously it doesn't go well, and she has a good cry about how her life isn't perfect. Given that the character is a super competitive bitch, I have no sympathy.

• Film Brain : The film opens with this title sequence involving girly momentos. Oh boy, two minutes in and already I have too much of a penis for this movie.