- [first lines]
- Kid: [he and Condor are riding bikes down the street] Hey C, we're homies, right?
- Condor: You know it.
- Kid: So if you heard that I die, won't you just get a next meal?
- Condor: Before after lunch.
- Kid: After?
- Condor: Uh, Kid, I gotta be honest with you. I'll eat my dinner in probably your portion too.
- Kid: That's good to know.
- Condor: Hey, look, I love you like a brother, but I get mad cranky when I don't eat.
- [Condor holds his stomach as a dog growl is heard offscreen]
- Condor: If that, I feel a little cranky right now.
- [an angry pitbull is barking offscreen and Condor turns. The pitbull comes onscreen looking angry and chases after Kid and Condor]
- Kid: Ray Johnson's pitbull! Oh, he hates me!
- Condor: Don't take it personally, Kid. I'm pretty sure the dog gets everybody!
- Condor: [Kid slams the door on Condor's leg after they escape the pitbull] My leg! Ray Johnson's dog ate my leg!
- Kid: Chill, si. I think we just slammed it in the door.
- Condor: [sigh] Wait, that's kinda bad, too.
- Business: Hey. How 'bout you boys take that someplace else? Can't you see I'm deliberating?
- [Business is dating a beautiful woman named Bran. Kid and Condor stare at Bran in surprise]
- Bran: You boys have the scent of sweat, fear, and...
- [sniffs on the kids]
- Bran: ... desperation.
- Condor: [smells his armpit] Oh, that has a smell?
- Business: Sure reason to fray this business. We're stringing a jize about to start my own line of collone. You know... like "diddy difitty."
- Condor: 'Kay, my dear. You call it, notorious B-I-Z.
- Business: Hush up, boy. What are you two running from?
- Kid: Ray Johnson's dog.
- Business: Again? I think Bran and I need to parlay.
- Business: Ray Ray, you need to check your dog.
- Ray Ray: Mind your own business... Business.
- [tries to close the door, but Business stops him and opens the door]
- Business: Kid *is* my business. And your dog is out of control.
- Pitbull: [offscreen] Wait, who's at the door!
- Ray Ray: Um, nobody!
- [to Business]
- Ray Ray: Look, just get outta here, you're gonna make him mad.
- Business: [opens the door pushing Ray Ray] Who's that?
- [the pitbull is playing poker with other dogs]
- Pitbull: You'd better be the pizza man, slick!
- [Business frowns and slams the door]
- Business: I like the way you row, lion.
- Otis the Lion: It's good to be king. Nice suit. Is that our money?
- Business: I'm no pencil pusher. This right here is goochie. The real D.
- Otis the Lion: That's cool. I'm into furry dance.
- Business: I can row with that.
- Condor: [he and Kid escape the pitbull again and his leg is slammed in the door] That's gettin' older, son.
- Kid: That dog's crazy! He acts like our own money!
- Business: Boys, let me introduce you to the solution for Johnson's dog.
- Otis the Lion: What's happening, boys?
- [the kids gasp in fear and Condor opens the door only to dive into the pitbull's mouth. Otis talks to the pitbull]
- Otis the Lion: Spit that kid out. He's mine.
- Pitbull: [spits Condor out] Kid's all yours. Plus it tastes like desperation.
- Condor: Really? You can taste it?
- Otis the Lion: You think you're all that?
- Pitbull: [scared] Uh, I was just playing.
- Otis the Lion: How 'bout I'll rip out your head and play ball with it?
- Pitbull: Hey, it's gotta be like that?
- Otis the Lion: Nothing personal.
- Pitbull: [turns around] Oh, that's relief.
- [turns back and points at the left]
- Pitbull: Oh look! Baby gazelle!
- [runs off. Kid, Condor and Business look at what the pitbull pointed at]
- Kid: I don't see anything.
- [the pitbull is running down the street and barking]
- Otis the Lion: [stares at the putbull, putting sunglasses on] Why do they always run?
- Business: I got to say you're definitely the king of the jungle. No doubt, brother.
- Wise: But?
- Business: But, we're not down with this.
- Otis the Lion: Good call.
- Kid: That dog is all kinds of mean. We don't want you to hurt him.
- [Otis hold his claw up and tears the duct tape off the pitbull's mouth]
- Pitbull: OW! Please accept my deepest and most sincere apologies!
- Otis the Lion: Shut up, fool.
- Pitbull: That sounds like a plan. I'm gonna shut up now.
- [last lines]
- Otis the Lion: [He and Business are hanging out on a couch] Heh heh heh, I fear you, Biz. I like your lane.
- Business: I like yours too.
- Otis the Lion: It's all natural.
- Business: Fresh.
- [Athlete runs up and stops at the table]
- Athlete: Wait, is that a lion in the living room?
- Business: If we hadn't come me, wouldn't you did?
- Otis the Lion: Old man, Johnson would be looking forward to a new dog.
- Business: [chuckles] I got my eye on you, lion.
- Otis the Lion: Heh heh. And I got my eye on that forty-four lard suit of yours, Biz.
- Athlete: [facepalm] Oh, this just makes me crazy.