Jason Weaver: Condor

Quotes 

• Condor : [Kid shoots the basketball at the hoop]  Ugh. Don't you get tired of making that shot?

  Kid : I will when I miss.

  [laughs and gives Erik a high five] 

  Condor : I'll show these fools.

  [walks off as Kid and Erik give each other a fist bump. Condor is practicing with the ball] 

  Condor : Now that's skids.

  Kid : Yo, just shoot the ball!

  Condor : No preemie just shootin' here. Ain't the ball would tell you when it's good and ready. Hmmmm, now you're talking to me? Are you talking to me? Now.

  [Condor shoots the ball at the hoop] 

  Condor : Oh! It just spunk.

  [Kid looks embarrassed] 

  Erik : Well, let me show you how it really gets done.

  [Erik points his finger up and summons rocket science digits] 

  Erik : Agh ponusus equal to the distance between the land and the boom...

  Kid : Come on, Erik, it's not a rocket science, just shoot it!

  Erik : Actually, it is.

  [picks the ball up] 

  Erik : One, two, three, four!

  [Erik throws the ball up to the sky. It disappears] 

  Kid : Dang. I think Boy Genius lost our ball again.

  [the ball drops from the sky and falls through the hoop] 

  Erik : Seven, eight, nine, ten.

  [catches the ball] 

  Kid : [snatches the ball from Erik]  Yo, are we playing horse or what? Can't tell what you fools.

  [walks off and practices] 

• Condor : Yo, peek over there.

  [points at something offscreen] 

  Kid : You're just trying to break my iron concentration.

  Erik : [looks at a beautiful Chinese girl]  Oh, that's Li. The exchange student from China. Brains coming out of her ears.

  Condor : Ooh, sure she's gotta go in all.

  [Kid closes his eyes and shoots the ball backward] 

  Kid : Nothing but...

  [Kid opens his eyes and sees Li, who strips her towel off and does a pose] 

  Erik : She's like one of those hot anime characters, only she's not a cartoon.

  Condor : Problem is, this three of us and only one of her. We like chu for. What do you think, Kid?

  [Kid tosses the ball aside and runs off] 

  Condor : Kid?

• [Kid is climbing on the high dive very nervous] 

  Kid : [in a woman voice]  Wow, Kid, I can't believe you go from that high up. You're so brave. Maybe we can go to a movie sometime.

  [in a deep man voice] 

  Kid : Shut up, baby. Drink some popcorn on them.

  [a flock of geese flies by, making Kid feel cold] 

  Condor : What's he doing up on a high dive?

  Erik : That's a high dive? I thought it was a cellphone tower.

  Business : He's showing his courage.

  Wise : I think I see his courage running down his leg.

  Business : Don't baby him, pops. He's old enough to stand up on his own.

  [Cut to a flashback with Kid at the hospital wearing a body cast, where he sucks soda from a straw while a song plays. Back in reality, Business's phone rings. He answers it] 

  Business : Oh, hiyo, Mr. Takuhashi.

  [Kid is standing on the diving board. He closes his eyes] 

  Kid : [praying]  If I make this... I'm gonna do all of my homework.

  [opens one eye and stares down the very low swimming pool] 

  Kid : Iiiiiiiiiiiiis thaaaaaaaaaaaat coooooouuuuuuraaaaaage?

  [dives off the board and falls down with all his might] 

  Li : No.

  [Business and Wise are swimming in the pool] 

  Wise : Don't worry, Kid! I'm coming to get you!

  Business : I got you now.

  [Kid opens his eyes and screams as he falls. He waves his arms and legs and finally hits the pool. He sinks into the water. Li dives to the pool and saves him from drowning] 

  Kid : [Li looks at his eyes after saving him]  Did... did you just save me?

  Li : Are you okay?

  Yugi : [pushes Li away]  Stand aside, little one. This kid needs lip to mine.

  [leans closer to Kid's face] 

  Kid : *NOOOOOOOOO*!

  [Yugi gives him a huge sloppy kiss]