- Finn Hudson: Is it true?
- Brittany Pierce: No, of course not.
- Finn Hudson: You're not leaving New Directions?
- Brittany Pierce: Oh. I thought you were talking about Selena Gomez's pregnancy rumors.
- Santana Lopez: [to Rory] Here's the deal, pixie-boy. You've got a crush on my girl, Brittany. I understand. She's beautiful, she's innocent, she's everything that's good in this miserable, stinking world.
- Rory Flanagan: [about Brittany] She thinks I'm a leprechaun.
- Finn Hudson: Yeah. She's kind of like Rain Man with boobs.
- Santana Lopez: You are such a bacon-wrapped bug-eyed hypocrite. It's freaking hilarious how jealous of Blaine you are. Every time he opens his dreamboat a-capella mouth, you're just itching to kick him right in the Warblers.
- Sugar Motta: Awesome! More back-up for me.
- Santana Lopez: Okay, you know what? I did not just leave one diva-driven Glee Club to join another, so let me write you a reality check, richy bitch. I've seen what you can do, and what you can do is stand in the back, sway, and sing very, very quietly.
- Sugar Motta: I, erm... I just... wanted to be on the winning team for once?
- Mercedes Jones: Then turn down the 'tude and you will be.
- Burt Hummel: [to Will] Your Glee Club saved my kid's life. It turns out art can do that, ya know? Whether it's through singing or dancing or painting a freakin' picture.
- Finn Hudson: [to Blaine] I know that you're a big deal at Dalton or whatever, but we don't wear blazers here. So have a seat, I'm trying to have a pep talk here.
- Blaine Anderson: Didn't you just say something about us not turning against each other?
- Rory Flanagan: I love everything about America. Especially NASCAR, your half-black president, and Victoria's Secret catalogs.
- Rory Flanagan: I thought America was all about different, unique people coming together and accepting one another.
- Finn Hudson: Pretty old brochure, dude.
- Rory Flanagan: Would you be my friend, Finn?
- Finn Hudson: Whoa, whoa.
- Rory Flanagan: It would be an honor.
- Finn Hudson: In America, dudes don't ask dudes to be their friends. Well, except on Facebook, but even that could take years.