House M.D. (TV Series)

Twenty Vicodin (2011)

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House

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Quotes 

• Dr. Gregory House : This is where you say thank you. Or, I say thank you for not killing me. Thank you.

• Dr. Gregory House : This another pet? This is going to end badly- again. Remember we talked about this? At least I talked, you stared at me eerily. I think it was eerily. Eerily was the best case scenario.

• Nick : That's Nicol . She lives at her mom's now on account of she lost her job. Her mom hates me so... She can't visit. She ain't accepting my calls.

  Dr. Gregory House : That's what happens when you date a 12 year old.

  Nick : You don't believe me?

  Dr. Gregory House : Belief implies a level of giving a crap, that I am never going to achieve.

• Dr. Jessica Adams : I checked your file. You didn't have a bad lawyer. You had no lawyer. You took the first deal they offered because you wanted to punish yourself. You think getting beat up, saving this one guy is going to wipe your slate clean?

  Dr. Gregory House : No.

  Dr. Jessica Adams : Then why are you doing this?

  Dr. Gregory House : Because I have a gift.

• Warden Delaire : Shut up. We've got an order to reduce overcrowding. But let me be clear. You mouth off to one guard, we catch you with the single cafeteria tray in your cell, you break any rules I can't even remember - you can park your ass here for four more months. So forget being sorry! Can you stay out of trouble for 5 days?

  Dr. Gregory House : [brief pause]  Yes.

• Dr. Jessica Adams : Very interesting practice you must've run. No need for tests. No need for proof. Where are you going?

  Dr. Gregory House : Proof store.

• Dr. Gregory House : Before I went to Med School. Thought about getting a PHD in Physics. You ever hear of dark matter? The galaxies rotate. Motion of the universe. It means there's six times more stuff than we can detect. But it's theorized. No one's ever proved it exists.

  Dr. Jessica Adams : So uh, so you want to research it? Why?

  Dr. Gregory House : It's the greatest mystery there is. Theory of everything.

  Dr. Jessica Adams : And completely divorced from humanity.

  Dr. Gregory House : Me and humanity, we got married too young.

• Dr. Gregory House : She's not your girl, you idiot. She was the girlfriend fo a loser drug dealer. You think she's got the self-control to wait around for 3 years? You think she should? There's a reason we're locked away from nice normal people. Your life outside is over. Your friends, your girl, the one you worked with - moved on.

• Dr. Jessica Adams : It doesn't even make sense. Why are you doing time? You didn't have any priors. You didn't hurt anyone.

  Dr. Gregory House : I had a bad lawyer.

  Dr. Jessica Adams : I'm sorry. We can't talk about this case anymore.

• Mendelson : I knew if you learned nothing else in here, you'd learn the smart thing is to fall in line.

  Dr. Gregory House : [House sighs. Long pause]  You're absolutely right.

  [House tosses the Vicodin in the air starting a riot] 

• [first lines] 

  Warden Delaire : Giving good... ish behaviour in eight of twelve months time served we have the discretion to grant parole Friday the 10, five days from now. Are you sorry about what you did?

  Dr. Gregory House : Yes.

  Warden Delaire : Yes?

  Dr. Gregory House : That's the right answer, it isn't?

  Case Worker : Are you trying to annoy us?