American Dad! (TV Series)

Wheels & the Legman and the Case of Grandpa's Key (2012)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roger : [to Steve]  You think this fake detective agency with real cases in a pretend office in your father's garage is a joke?

• Stan Smith : [to Steve]  So this, uh, detective stuff looks fun. Can I play?

  Steve Smith : Um, maybe, Dad, but I'm not sure you understand what we do here.

  Stan Smith : No, no, I get it. It's part pretend, part real, fake detectives, real cases, you're in a wheelchair, Roger can walk. W... what's not to get?

• Roger : [to Stan]  You're a liability! You know what your problem is? Pappa Wheelie doesn't have a backstory. All right, all you have is a prop. How did you end up on that unicycle? Are you a hipster? Are you a Frenchman? Were you raised by a Russian circus bear? You don't know! You just woke up one morning and saw a unicycle, you stupid hack. I don't know about you, but this case has put me in the mood for some cocaine.

  Stan Smith : I-I get that joke. 'Cause cocaine comes in keys, right?

  Steve Smith : The Legman doesn't joke about cocaine.

  Roger : Cocaine is not a joking matter.

• Roger's Date : [to Roger]  So do you like music?

  Roger : Do I like music? No, no, I'm the one person on Earth who doesn't like music.

  Roger's Date : Why did you answer my ad online if you were just gonna ignore me?

  Roger : My profile has four pictures of me staring out of a restaurant window through binoculars. You knew what this was.

• Roger : [while outside the hospital's cancer ward, speaking through a megaphone]  You're all going to die! Your parents and your doctors are lying to you!

• Roger : [to his date]  You know, you're not as ugly as I thought. I just might sex you later.

  Roger's Date : I'm gonna go.

  Roger : Ugh. Now you've ruined it by talking.

• Client : Please, this key is my grandfather's legacy.

  Steve Smith : Uhp, "legacy".

  Roger : Fine, we'll take the case. You're lucky you said a word with "leg" in it. It's my only weakness. That's how I got this Foghorn Leghorn key chain and this bag of legumes.