"American Dad!" The Scarlet Getter (TV Episode 2011) - Seth MacFarlane as Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Stan Smith : So, uh, what do you think the CIA will do with the alien when you bring it in?

Shannon Sharpe : Oh they're going to dissect him like a frog, like Kermit. That's probably my favorite frog.
Roger the Alien : [to Stan] You can't keep two girls on lockdown. You already got Francine. If you want to let her go, then I'll back off Scarlett. Of course, then, I'll plow Francine.

Francine Smith : I'd let him, too. Dan Andsome-Handsome gives me quite the wide-on.
Stan Smith : [to Roger] So when did you realize Scarlett was an alien hunter?

Roger the Alien : Took a little longer than I'd prefer to admit. For a while, I just thought we were having super-kinky sex and then she cut off my face.
Roger the Alien : [about Scarlett] I think I'm going to ask her out.

Stan Smith : You? You three-foot-tall, gray, disgusting piece of shit! Scarlett's an angel. You're a pig. She would never go for you.

Roger the Alien : Listen, you, that hurts. I like to think of myself as a pretty strong person, but you... you cracked it.
Stan Smith : [thinking] All right, Stan, don't make a scene. Just say something witty and exit on the laugh.

[yells]

Stan Smith : So jealous!

[smacks his head on the table and falls]
Stan Smith : [to Roger while drunk, wearing a bathrobe] Welco... welcome home, space lothario. You might have slept with Scarlett, but I'm wearing your robe. Ha!

Roger the Alien : Hey, that's my pooping robe. I can tell by all the poop on the edges.

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien