Family Guy (TV Series)

Tea Peter (2012)

Kirker Butler: Alan, Second Creature

Quotes 

• Brian Griffin : The Tea Party isn't the grassroots movement you think it is. It's actually funded by big-business types who are using you to get the government out of their way so they can roll over everyone.

  Stewie Griffin : Mom held hands with a woman at the gas station this morning. Don't know what that means. Just reporting it.

  Brian Griffin : All I'm saying is you're being used and you're too clueless to know it.

  Peter Griffin : Boy, you just think you're so superior, don't you? Like that first creature to walk on dry land.

  [cutaway] 

  Fish #1 : Hey, where'd you go?

  Second Creature : Ah, I went for a jog.

  Fish #1 : What's a jog?

  Second Creature : It's a great way to stay in shape is what it is.

  Fish #3 : Is it like a swim?

  Second Creature : [condescening laugh]  No, no, it's, it's nothing like a swim.

• Peter Griffin : Watch out there, Brian. Looks like the floor is wet.

  Alan : [passing by]  Excuse me. I'm kind of in a hurry.

  [slipping on the water puddle] 

  Alan : Ahhh! Son of a bitch!

  Peter Griffin : Oh, my God! Are you okay?

  Alan : I'm sorry. I've been a bit distracted lately. I think my wife has been crossing the street with another man.

  Alan's Wife : [outside, crossing the street with another generic-sign figure]  God, I hope Alan doesn't find out.