The Simpsons (TV Series)

At Long Last Leave (2012)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Mayor Quimby, Krusty the Clown, Sideshow Mel, Gil, Mr. Teeny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : It says here we have to stay inside the shelter for three hours.

  Homer Simpson : So if you have to fart, do it now.

  Marge Simpson : Homer! What if those were your last words on Earth?

  Homer Simpson : Honey, you know my last words will be "I can outrun that lion."

• Lisa Simpson : Why do we have to sit here? If we leave now, we could see what the town looks deserted.

  Bart Simpson : I could write whatever I want on the school chalkboard.

  Lisa Simpson : I could watch a planetarium show without the second-hand marijuana.

  Homer Simpson : And I could drive drunk while sober.

  [Cut to Homer driving erratically] 

  Homer Simpson : It's fun, but not as fun.

• Bart Simpson : You sure this is a good idea?

  Homer Simpson : This is the Outlands, boy. Ideas aren't good or bad, they're just free.

• Homer Simpson : I always thought tar and feathered was just an expression. How are you going to pave your roads and stuff your pillows now?

• Mayor Quimby : Marge, you're a kind, compassionate woman who makes us see your family in a new light.

  Marge Simpson : Thank you.

  Mayor Quimby : Which is why you're the worst Simpson of all!

• Homer Simpson : The old homestead. Remember when we first moved in?

  [talks from side of mouth] 

  Homer Simpson : And I talked like this?

• Homer Simpson : You always assume that a big picture of us in a secret meeting we weren't invited to is a bad thing.

• Homer Simpson : If you cast us out, you will be cursed with a thousand year drought!

  [Suddenly the sky becomes cloudy and start to rain] 

  Homer Simpson : I mean a thousand year flood.

  [the clouds parts and it stops raining; a rainbow appears on the distance and a flower grows at Homer's feet] 

  Homer Simpson : D'oh! I mean a thousand years of perfect weather.

• Homer Simpson : There's only one way out. I have to man up. Okay, manning up... Manning up... Manning...

  [high-pitched whine] 

  Homer Simpson : Oh, girling down! Girling down!

• Bart Simpson : How you doing, Mr. Assange?

  Julian Assange : That's my personal information and you have no right to know about it. Hey, but we're neighbors. Would you like to come over for a movie sometime?

  Marge Simpson : Is it Iraqi journalists being murdered?

  Julian Assange : Don't be ridiculous. It's an Afghan wedding being bombed.

  Homer Simpson : Well I have a really big secret for you.

  [whispers] 

  Homer Simpson : I'm not wearing any underwear.

  Julian Assange : You know, you should really get out less.

• Ned Flanders : Make way for Captain Calmhead! Now, I like a good old-fashioned witch trial as much as the next person, but I do not think we should be so quick to judge our long-time neighbors.

  Mayor Quimby : Not so fast, Flanders! We knew you'd be the voice of mercy, and we're prepared to answer your concerns.

  [a suspended battering ram swings from the ceiling, striking Flanders in the chest and propelling him out the door] 

  Mayor Quimby : Any other objections?

  Ned Flanders : [Lying disheveled on a car hood]  I retract my... diddly.

• Lisa Simpson : I know it's futile, but I must again point out there is no dragon.

  Homer Simpson : Then why am I paying $800 a year in dragon insurance?

  Lisa Simpson : Again, I maintain that money would be better spent on car insurance.

  Homer Simpson : Lisa, everyone knows dragons do not attack cars. Jeez, pick up a book.

  Lisa Simpson : [gasps]  I pick up books like you pick up beers!

  Homer Simpson : Then you have a serious reading problem.

• Carl : [Carl emerges from a bush; Maggie is on his shoulders, holding a knife to his throat]  Get her off! Get her off!

  Homer Simpson : [giggles]  Let her slice off the tip of your ear and she'll go right to sleep.

  Carl : No!

  Homer Simpson : [menacingly]  That's not a choice you get to make.

• Bart Simpson : [in the car]  Hey Henrietta Hippo, I gotta drain the inchworm.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, fine!

  [They pull off the road, Bart runs into the bushes. Homer gets out to stretch when he hears a rifle cocking, then the camera pulls back to show a man aiming a shotgun at him] 

  Homer Simpson : Please put that down!

  Bart Simpson : [offscreen]  I just got started!

• Marge Simpson : We've found a new place that we love. A place that may not have indoor plumbing, but it's got something we treasure more.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah, non-jerks!

  [the crowd gasps] 

  Mayor Quimby : Maybe he's right. We *are* jerks!

  Chief Wiggum : You want I should spray some of my Jerk-Off on ya?