- Naomi: [Naomi, the Slutty Pumpkin, has mutually agreed with Ted to end their relationship] Naomi: Ted, I've been looking for the hot Hanging Chad for the last nine Halloweens. I've waded through a parade of Big Lebowskis, Harry Potters, Antoine Dodsons and the jackass who always dresses as laundry.
- Ted Mosby: I hate that guy.
- Naomi: That's why when I finally found you... it was hard to let go. Goodbye, Ted.
- [offers handshake, but Ted tries to hug her]
- Naomi: Let's not touch, ever.
- Ted Mosby: Probably a good idea.
- Barney Stinson: [Barney has just sipped a drink to drown the fact that he has Canadian blood] This is nice. What is this?
- Waitress: Canadian whiskey.
- Barney Stinson: [Spits out drink] I want Scotch... American Scotch, from Scotland! Just get that swill away from me!
- [hands back glass to waitress and makes cat-like hiss; to Robin]
- Barney Stinson: Why are you doing this to me?
- Robin Scherbatsky: You've been ripping on Canada since Justin Bieber was knee-high to a snowblower, so now this Canuck's gonna be on you like the drummer from the Yukon Blondes, high up on Timbits.
- Ted Mosby: [about Naomi, "the Slutty Pumpkin"] The thing is, I like her. Okay? I really, really like her. I just don't seem to like anything she says or does.
- Marshall Eriksen: Lily you just gave those children a stapler, a pair of sharp scissors and a pretty decent Pinot Noir.