Holliston (TV Series)

Laura's Little Twitter (2012)

Adam Green: Adam

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joe : Gustavo may not be Greg Nicotero but he'll be just fine.

  Adam : You know, I've actually heard that Greg Nicotero suffers from the same multiple personality disorder as your little buddy Gustavo. In fact, when they were shooting The Walking Dead, Nicotero thought he was a real zombie and he bit Frank Darabont which is what caused him to leave the show.

  Joe : Seriously?

  Adam : No. But I'll tell you what, J.J. McClure. If your little Savini goes all Captain Chaos on me, I quit!

  Joe : That's a lot of references.

  Adam : Thank you.

• Joe : I transferred all of the Halloweens except for the one with Busta Whatshisnuts.

  Adam : Trick or Treat, Muthaf - are you eating my last Butterfinger?

• Adam : You know how much I love Butterfingers. They're so... buttery and... fingery.

• Joe : I don't think I need to own every movie from a slasher franchise on DVD if I think some of them are so bad that I'll never actually watch them.

  Adam : Well you can't call yourself a Pumpkinhead fan if you don't even own Pumpkinhead 2 Blood Wings.

  Joe : There was a sequel?

  Adam : There were three sequels. Where were you?

  Joe : Were they any good?

  Adam : They were... movies.

• Adam : Your wugget is showing.

  Laura : My what?

  Joe : You have zebra loaf.

  Corri : You can see the bald man in the boat.

  Adam : You're displaying a package of pink Thin Mints.

  Laura : What are you guys talking about?

  Adam : Meat curtains.

  Joe : Ham wallet.

  Adam : Lars Ulrich's knees.

  Joe : Hairy Potter?

  Adam : E.T.'s feet?

  Corri : OK, honey? You have camel toe in this picture.

  Laura : No I d - oh my God. You can see the outline of my Sy Snootles!

  Adam : Well, on the bright side at least you can't see the rest of the Max Rebo band, right? I mean... your cervix isn't showing.

• Adam : What's your screen name?

  Laura : Putrid Pestilence 2.

  Corri : Putrid Pestilence 2?

  Laura : I know. Someone already had Putrid Pestilence 1.

• Lance Rockett : The lady from regional is coming down at five o'clock today and I've got to show her a good commercial. Think! What do we have?

  Joe : What about the one from Ashland House of Pizza that Adam just finished?

  Lance Rockett : The one with the talking gerbil?

  Adam : "Our pizza is the cheesiest!"

  Lance Rockett : Too weird. I don't even wanna know where you guys found a talking gerbil in the first place. But that was a good impression of him, Adam.

• Lance Rockett : You guys get on it. I gotta get ready to meet the lady.

  Adam : Woah, boss. Why do you need like four hours to get ready?

  Lance Rockett : [Standing and motioning to his sequin shorts, fishnets, and pink boa]  You don't think this just happens do you, Adam?

• Lance Rockett : [Puts his leg up on his desk and his crotch in Adam and Joe's faces]  Call me nuts. But I always imagined the two of you running your own little low budget cable advertising company one day. That, or... modeling underwear.

  Adam : Nuts.

  Lance Rockett : Now if you'll excuse me I gotta go get ready and show this little lady where the down boys go, Oh! She's gonna be my Cherry Pie! Metaaaaaaal!

  [Exits and randomly reappears again] 

  Lance Rockett : Woo! Encore exit! Metal, double time! Metal-metal-metal-metal-metal-metal-metal!

• Adam : Joe, we're in a barn. Did you notice that? This is a barn.

  Joe : Uh, a lot of awesome things happen in barns. Jesus was born in a barn.

  Adam : That was a manger.

  Joe : See? Already a step up!

• Joe : I'm Joe and this is Adam. We spoke to a Gustavo earlier about doing effects for a project we're doing called Shinpads.

  Gustavo : Shinpads?

  Adam : Shinpads. It's the undead soccer team movie with bite. It's about a team of Mexican soccer players who get massacred but then they come back like a decade later to seek revenge.

  Gustavo : Why?

  Adam : Because they were murdered by their own coach.

  Gustavo : No, I mean, why are you making that?

• Gustavo : And we only making the trailer, you not make the whole film?

  Adam : No, just the trailer right now. But then we're gonna use that to raise the financing to make the feature. Kind of like how those guys got Hatchet made.

  Gustavo : Ah, Hatchet, yes. Terrible picture. Yes, Hatchet, abomination. The only thing worse than direction was writing. Make you wonder did they have script or was Adam Green just masturbating all over the set?

  Adam : Stop ad-libbing, Seth.

  Gustavo : Sorry.

• Gustavo : You've come to the right place. For two hundred dollars I give you something on par with Dawn of Dead.

  Joe : Dawn of the Dead!

  Adam : Wait. The Romero one or the remake?

  Gustavo : [Clutching his chest]  Ah! They remake Dawn of Dead?

  Joe : Yeah, a couple years ago.

  Gustavo : Where was Gustavo? This horrible! Next you know they remake The Thing and try to say it's prequel!

• Adam : Our trailer is just gonna be the money shots.

  Gustavo : Oh, you shoot sex? Splat! Oh my face, I'm going to need a damp rag!

  Adam : Different kind of money shots.

• Gustavo : I don't like your friend. He must be writer, huh?

  Adam : As a matter of fact I am the writer on the project.

  Gustavo : You can always tell. Writer is always oh that's not how I see it or oh, I am suing you for ruining my vision, Gustavo! Or oh no we need more residuals in undefined multi-media areas! Let's strike for six months and not really get anywhere under the crushing thumb of the Producer's Guild! Writers!

  [Spits] 

  Gustavo : Ptoo!

• Adam : So are you two just sorta gonna always be here after work or are you ever gonna get your own place?

  Corri : Season two.

• Corri : [singing]  A life without him is hard to fathom, oh I dream about those days when I had 'em... Ohhh... Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. His name is Kevin, yes it's Kevin...

  Adam : [Grabbing her guitar away]  Yeah, no. That song is terrible.

  Corri : Adam, I was just getting to the good part.

  Adam : You know what? The lyrics are making you sound like a whore.

• Adam : You know what, Laura? Maybe you should just forget about this and focus on your artwork.

  Laura : But if I paint when I'm this sad it will negatively effect my artwork.

  [Reveal a painting of a puppy with knives in it's eyes and a painting of a little girl crying over her mother's grave] 

  Corri : We wouldn't that to happen.

  Laura : And I keep getting all of these tweets sent to my email. Like this one.

  [She holds her phone out for Corri to read] 

  Corri : "Nice fleshy gym sock." Hahahahaha... that is so messed up.

• Laura : You want me to show the twins in your trailer? No, I don't think so.

  Adam : What's the difference? You've already shown half of Twitter Kevin Costner's left Waterworld gil.

• Corri : I'm gonna be doing this as part of an acting role. That Twitter photo is just a slutty cry for attention.

  [to Laura] 

  Corri : No offense.

  Laura : Well, you'll be acting in a schlocky trailer for a B-horror film that will probably never even get made.

  [to Adam] 

  Laura : No offense.

  Adam : You know what? It's still better than giving fourteen thousand strangers a free glimpse inside the Predator's mouth.

  [to Laura] 

  Adam : No offense.

  Joe : I have chlamydia.

• Adam : Actually, this battery is... starting to get a little low, so I'm... I'm just gonna... run to my battery real quick and... get a room. Woah, look at that.

  [He covers Corri in her bathrobe again] 

  Adam : You dropped this.

• Oderus Urungus : Adam, I'm starting to get a little worried about you. How are you gonna make it as a big time Hollywood director if you get squeamish about a couple of nude scenes? I mean, imagine Scream if Wes Craven was uncomfortable with nude scenes.

  Adam : There was no nudity in Scream.

  Oderus Urungus : My point exactly. Now, do you want to go down in history as the guy who made the crummy PG-13 remake of Prom Night? Or do you wanna make Re-animator?

  Adam : I just want to tell good stories.

  Oderus Urungus : Don't make me have to destroy you.

• Oderus Urungus : Oderus Urungus will always say, if a girl wants to get naked you let her.

  Adam : Yeah, but we're not even paying her.

  Oderus Urungus : Hmm.

  [Backhands Adam into the closet door] 

• Lance Rockett : Trust me boys, nothing gets chicks hotter than a pair of fishnets and the right lip gloss.

  Adam : So that's what I'm doing wrong.

• Joe : Many of you out there have heard Adam and I talk about our own upcoming splatterfest... Shinpads!

  Adam : When they score... you die.