Holliston (TV Series)

Laura's Little Twitter (2012)

Laura Ortiz: Laura

Photos 

Quotes 

• Adam : Your wugget is showing.

  Laura : My what?

  Joe : You have zebra loaf.

  Corri : You can see the bald man in the boat.

  Adam : You're displaying a package of pink Thin Mints.

  Laura : What are you guys talking about?

  Adam : Meat curtains.

  Joe : Ham wallet.

  Adam : Lars Ulrich's knees.

  Joe : Hairy Potter?

  Adam : E.T.'s feet?

  Corri : OK, honey? You have camel toe in this picture.

  Laura : No I d - oh my God. You can see the outline of my Sy Snootles!

  Adam : Well, on the bright side at least you can't see the rest of the Max Rebo band, right? I mean... your cervix isn't showing.

• Adam : What's your screen name?

  Laura : Putrid Pestilence 2.

  Corri : Putrid Pestilence 2?

  Laura : I know. Someone already had Putrid Pestilence 1.

• Joe : I don't want to sound insensitive, but maybe this is a good thing.

  Laura : How?

  Joe : Well, when we finish our Shinpads trailer you can twitter it out to all of those people!

  Laura : Wow. I didn't realize what a good thing this was for ME!

• Adam : You know what, Laura? Maybe you should just forget about this and focus on your artwork.

  Laura : But if I paint when I'm this sad it will negatively effect my artwork.

  [Reveal a painting of a puppy with knives in it's eyes and a painting of a little girl crying over her mother's grave] 

  Corri : We wouldn't that to happen.

  Laura : And I keep getting all of these tweets sent to my email. Like this one.

  [She holds her phone out for Corri to read] 

  Corri : "Nice fleshy gym sock." Hahahahaha... that is so messed up.

• Laura : The whole world has seen my little twitter.

• Laura : You want me to show the twins in your trailer? No, I don't think so.

  Adam : What's the difference? You've already shown half of Twitter Kevin Costner's left Waterworld gil.

• Corri : I'm gonna be doing this as part of an acting role. That Twitter photo is just a slutty cry for attention.

  [to Laura] 

  Corri : No offense.

  Laura : Well, you'll be acting in a schlocky trailer for a B-horror film that will probably never even get made.

  [to Adam] 

  Laura : No offense.

  Adam : You know what? It's still better than giving fourteen thousand strangers a free glimpse inside the Predator's mouth.

  [to Laura] 

  Adam : No offense.

  Joe : I have chlamydia.

• Laura : Fifty-six thousand followers have now gazed upon Winnie the Pooh's honey pot.

• Laura : The way I see it, what are a couple of boobs when the entire Twitterverse has already seen James Cameron's Abyss?

• Laura : Hey!

  [Reading an email from her phone] 

  Laura : Due to your profane profile image Twitter has decided to cancel your account. P.S. Nice beagle ears.