- Andy Dwyer: If you rearrange the letters of Peru you can spell Europe.
- Ben Wyatt: That's... that's not true.
- Andy Dwyer: Well, you have to rearrange them.
- Ben Wyatt: It's a white flag, and you may as well start waving it right now, Leslie!
- Leslie Knope: The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!
- Ben Wyatt: ...Good Lord.
- Chris Traeger: See, I just don't believe in this "Don't let people know how you feel" nonsense. I love telling people how I feel. Mostly because I love most people and I love telling them that I love them.
- Donna Meagle: You didn't tell that girl you love her, did you?
- Chris Traeger: No. I'm not crazy.
- Ann Perkins: I hate jogging!
- Chris Traeger: Jogging's amazing!
- Ann Perkins: Jogging is the worst, Chris! I mean I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?