- Travis Marks: I don't hate Phil. Phil hates me.
- Dr. Elise Ryan: What makes you think that?
- Travis Marks: Because...
- woman 1 in therapy: You cheated on him.
- woman 2 in therapy: And then you dumped him.
- woman 3 in therapy: And you
- [looks at Wes]
- woman 3 in therapy: were the other woman.
- Wes Mitchell: Hey, this is not my problem. No. Travis is the one jealous of his ex.
- Wes Mitchell: [to Morgan] Travis does drive me nuts sometimes. I mean there are sometimes I'd like to take him where they won't find the body. You know what I mean? But he's my partner. Only I'm allowed to talk about him like that. You don't know him: what's he's done or what he's capable of doing. So you should just shut the hell up. That's some professional advice for you.
- Woman in group therapy: [to Dr. Ryan] You ever just come right out and advise couples to split up?
- Phil Kronish: Wes, man. You're still rockin' that GQ style, Dude.
- Detective Kate Cafferty: How awkward was that for you on a scale of 1 to 10?... It's like going to your high school reunion and seeing your ex and finding out she's all big and successful and has a hot new girlfriend.
- Detective Kate Cafferty: Bet you regret it now. Breaking up with Phil for Wes.
- Travis Marks: [his phone rings] That's Phil.
- woman in therapy: Woman in group: Shut up. We were just talking about him and he then calls. It's totally like The Secret.
- Morgan: [to Wes] You seem like a real grown-up with a lot of potential.
- Travis Marks: [to Dr. Ryan] Well, I opened up to Phil just like you said. It worked out great... He completely boned me.
- Phil Kronish: So who smells the elephant poop? Phil Kronish
- Sun-Tzu, The Art of War: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
- Phil Kronish: [to Travis - his hand raised high] Bring your hand to Daddy, Bro.
- Morgan: I think it's great you're working things out in couples counseling.
- Kendall: Everyone's saying your old partner's new partner's hot... They're calling him... um... Travis 2.0... The newer version. The updated model.
- Richard Barnes [Beverly Hills Mayor]: Nobody kicks me in the balls and gets away with it.