- Barney Stinson: [Barney talks to Robin, who just locked herself up at a bathroom] Are we still friends?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Hope.
- Barney Stinson: Good.
- [sits on bathtub]
- Barney Stinson: 'Cause get this, Ted almost adopted a baby.
- [scoffs]
- Barney Stinson: Crazy, right? Poor guy's going through some stuff. He actually tried to rope me into it. Can you imagine me being someone's dad?
- Robin Scherbatsky: ...I'm pregnant.
- Ted Mosby: Instead of throwing away your life marrying some girl, you just go splitsies on a kid with your best bro!
- Marshall Eriksen: [Marshall talks to Lily about selling the house she inherited from her grandparents] Baby, your grandparents gave you this house outright. The way I see it, we have five options: number one, sell it. Number two, year-round haunted house. Three, giant fence around the perimeter. Chimp sanctuary, there's a swing around the backyard. Four, we destroy it with sledgehammers. I like four.
- Lily Aldrin: Or five, we move in, raise our children, make this our family home.
- Marshall Eriksen: 'Till they graduate, and we destroy it with sledgehammers... as a family.
- Narrator: [about Past Ted and Barney trying to adopt a baby and raise it as "Bro-Parents"] Kids I cannot stress this enough: Barney and I were going through a tough time.