Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (2012)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic, Chester A. Bum

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : Angry Joe, why didn't you tell me? Tell me there's an edit coming up! These shots are going on forever! Please, give me a cut! Just give me a cut!

  Angry Joe : [imitates Khan]  Oh, I've done far worse than give you no cuts. I've hurt you... and I wish to go on... hurting you. I shall leave you as this movie left me... left all audiences... marooned in the center of a dead screening. Bored out of your mind... bored out of your mind...

  Nostalgia Critic : CUT! CUT! CUT!

• Nostalgia Critic : This is just watching a bunch of footage and then seeing someone comment on it! Who would want to watch that?

• Nostalgia Critic : Mr. Bum, report!

  Chester A. Bum : We were hit by a rogue message from our sponsors!

  Nostalgia Critic : Raise shields and maintain course!

  Chester A. Bum : Aye, sir!... This shield-raising moment is brought to you by the delicious taste of Diet Coke.

  Nostalgia Critic : Chester!

  Chester A. Bum : Sorry!

• Nostalgia Critic : Need I remind you of the Holy-shit-you-nearly-killed-us moment not a few minutes ago?

• Nostalgia Critic : What can you say about Star Trek? Well, really? Everything. It's a great vehicle for creative ideas! It's an onslaught of clichéd writing. Its characters are timeless and unforgettable! Their personalities are on par with the Ninja Turtles. It's one of the greatest works of sci-fi of all time! It's the corniest schlock you'll ever watch. Everybody has an opinion on Star Trek, but there is one pattern most people seem to agree on. When it comes to the movies, the even numbered ones seem to be the best. For whatever reason, the odd numbered Star Trek films seem to be the ones that get once-in-a-while viewers and die-hard fans really pissed off!

  Chester A. Bum : I believe we can attribute that to the binary structure that emanates from these movies...

  Nostalgia Critic : Or it could just be a giant coincidence.

  Chester A. Bum : Damn it, I almost sounded intelli-ma-gent!

  Nostalgia Critic : So all throughout January, we're going to look at the odd numbered Star Trek movies, the ones that seem to get Trekkies' panties in a bundle. And we're gonna start off with Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Roll clip number one, energize!

  Chester A. Bum : [imitating Scotty]  I cannot do it, Critic! I don't have the power!

  [holds up a cup] 

  Chester A. Bum : Or the, uh, money?

  [he jiggles his change cup; the Critic sighs and reaches into his pocket, taking out a penny and tossing it in the cup] 

  Chester A. Bum : Thank you!

• Chester A. Bum : Incoming cameo, Critic!

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, God, I was hoping I could avoid this. Looks like I have no choice, I have to face the music. Put him on screen.

  Angry Joe : [appearing on the screen]  Hi, Critic!

  Nostalgia Critic : Angry Joe? Oh, thank God, I thought you were Linkara for a second. Phew!

  Angry Joe : Yeah, I know, he's obsessed with Star Trek. He's a total geek.

  Nostalgia Critic : Yeah, tell me about it.

• [first lines] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to and welcome to Star Trek Month.

  Nostalgia Critic : [to Chester]  Engage review.

  Chester A. Bum : Yes, sir.