The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Recombination Hypothesis (2012)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon discovers he's received the wrong cardboard cut-out Spock] Oh no! They sent the wrong Spock! Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto!
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Sheldon Cooper : Now, back to our game.
Raj Koothrappali : You were in the middle of an erection.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, of course! It's right here in my hand.
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Sheldon Cooper : I want to build a road, but I need wood. Either of you fellows have wood?
[Raj and Howard snicker]
Sheldon Cooper : I don't understand the laughter. The object of "Settlers of Catan" is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now I have sheep; I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?
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Sheldon Cooper : Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
[Raj and Howard laugh]
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, come on! I just want wood! Why are you making it so hard?
[Raj and Howard laugh harder]
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Sheldon Cooper : And now that I have some wood, I'm going to begin the erection of my settlements.
Raj Koothrappali : [sotto, to Wolowitz] He's got to be doing this on purpose.
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Sheldon Cooper : O-o-oh, my life-size cardboard Mr. Spock is here! I know he wouldn't care for an outburst of human emotion, but oh goody, oh goody, oh goody!
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Sheldon Cooper : The reason you're fixated on a good-natured simpleton like Penny is that she's the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment - your brilliant yet intimidating mother.
Leonard Hofstadter : Where on earth did you get that from?
Sheldon Cooper : It's in her book, "Needy Baby, Greedy Baby".
Leonard Hofstadter : That doesn't make it true.
Sheldon Cooper : It's called non-fiction for a reason, Leonard.
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Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, promise me that when our new waitress comes over, you will not start a complicated on-again-off-again relationship with her, because I'm very, very hungry.
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Howard Wolowitz : Ooh, 8:30. You and Penny decide to go out and paint the town beige?
Leonard Hofstadter : You're 30 years old and you live with your mother!
Raj Koothrappali : I guess it didn't go well.
Sheldon Cooper : Now, we don't know that. Not to a certainty. All we know is that Leonard is home.
[Leonard groans loudly from his room]
Howard Wolowitz : How about now?
Sheldon Cooper : Again, not enough evidence. For all we know, he's being murdered.
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[first lines]
Leonard Hofstadter : Feel like trying something new for dinner? Maybe indian? Tex-Mex?
Sheldon Cooper : You ever wonder how humans would be different if they evolved from lizards instead of amammals?
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, let's talk about that.
Sheldon Cooper : As you know, lizards, cold-blooded animals, lack the ability to sense temperature, but they do move more sluggishly when it's cold. So, lizard weathermen would say things like, "Bring a sweater. It's slow outside". I love my mind.
Leonard Hofstadter : We all do. Now, how about dinner?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, I would assume we'd enjoy insects, or smaller lizards. We could also pull each other's tails off and grill them; they'll just grow back.
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Sheldon Cooper : You want to know my opinion?
Leonard Hofstadter : [Sarcastic] Oh boy, do I!
Sheldon Cooper : [to Howard] Sarcasm?
Howard Wolowitz : [Spiteful] No.
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Sheldon Cooper : After you used the facilities at the gas station, did you make a purchase?
Leonard Hofstadter : What?
Sheldon Cooper : It's customary when using the restroom at a retail establishment to make a small purchase. Did you?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : [snorts] Here's two dollars. Go buy some beef jerky.
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't want beef jerky.
Sheldon Cooper : It's not about *you*. It's about a poor immigrant from Pakistan trying to make his way in America by working the graveyard shift at the Colorado Boulevard Chevron.