Game of Thrones (TV Series)

Second Sons (2013)

Peter Dinklage: Tyrion Lannister

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Quotes 

• Tyrion Lannister : [to Sansa]  I promise you one thing, my lady. I won't ever hurt you.

• Tywin Lannister : You seem rather drunk.

  Tyrion Lannister : Rather less than I plan to be. Isn't it a man's duty to be drunk at his own wedding?

  Tywin Lannister : This isn't about your wedding. Renly Baratheon had a wedding. Your wife needs a child, a Lannister child, as soon as possible.

  Tyrion Lannister : And?

  Tywin Lannister : If you're going to give her one, you need to perform.

  Tyrion Lannister : What did you once call me? "A drunken little lust-filled beast."

  Tywin Lannister : More than once.

  Tyrion Lannister : [slurring]  There you have it. Nothing to worry about. Drinking and lust. No man can match me in these things. I am the god of tits and wine... I shall build a shrine to myself at the next brothel I visit.

  [Tyrion tries to take a drink, but Tywin grabs the cup out of his hand] 

  Tywin Lannister : You can drink. You can joke. You can engage in juvenile attempts to make your father uncomfortable. But you will do your duty.

• [Sansa is reluctantly undressing to have sex with Tyrion] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Stop. I can't. I could, I won't.

  Sansa Stark : But your father...

  Tyrion Lannister : If my father wants someone to get fucked, I know where he can start... I won't share your bed. Not until you want me to.

  Sansa Stark : What if I never want you to?

  [pause] 

  Tyrion Lannister : [raises his cup]  And so my watch begins.

  [Tyrion takes a sip of his wine and passes out on a chaise longue] 

• Tyrion Lannister : Do you drink wine?

  Sansa Stark : Only when I have to.

• Joffrey Baratheon : Time for the bedding ceremony!

  [the crowd cheers. Joffrey grabs Sansa by her arm and pulls her] 

  Tyrion Lannister : There will be no bedding ceremony.

  Joffrey Baratheon : Where's your respect for tradition, uncle? Come, everyone! Pick her up and carry her to her wedding bed. Get rid of her gown. She won't be needing it any longer.

  [Sansa crosses her arms fearfully as Joffrey points towards Tyrion] 

  Joffrey Baratheon : Ladies, attend to my uncle. He's not heavy.

  Tyrion Lannister : There will be no bedding ceremony.

  Joffrey Baratheon : [smiles nastily]  There will be if I command it.

  [Tyrion slams his dagger into the table, startling Joffrey] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Then you'll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock!

  [a shocked silence falls. Tywin quickly rises to his feet. Joffrey approaches Tyrion, seething with rage] 

  Joffrey Baratheon : What did you say? What... did you... SAY?

  [Tyrion and Joffrey glare at each other hatefully. Tywin intervenes to defuse the situation] 

  Tywin Lannister : I believe we can dispense with the bedding, Your Grace. I'm sure Tyrion didn't mean to threaten the king.

  [Tyrion bursts out laughing and lets go of the dagger] 

  Tyrion Lannister : A bad joke Your Grace. Made out of envy of your own royal manhood. Mine is so small. My poor wife won't even know I'm there.

  Tywin Lannister : Your uncle is clearly quite drunk, Your Grace.

  Tyrion Lannister : I am. Guilty.

  [Tyrion drinks from his cup] 

  Tyrion Lannister : But... but it is my wedding night. My tiny drunk cock and I have a job to do.

  [Tyrion stumbles drunk] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Come, wife.

  [Tyrion starts walking away. Sansa glances fearfully at Joffrey, then follows Tyrion] 

  Tyrion Lannister : I vomited on a girl once in the middle of the act. Not proud of it. But I think honesty is important between a man and wife, don't you agree? Come I'll tell you all about it. Put you in the mood.

• Tyrion Lannister : [drunk]  Amazingly long.

  Sansa Stark : What?

  Tyrion Lannister : Neck. You have one. How old are you exactly?

  Sansa Stark : Fourteen.

  Tyrion Lannister : [shakes his head]  Well, talk won't make you any older. My Lord Father has commanded me to consummate this marriage.