True Blood (TV Series)

Gone, Gone, Gone (2012)

Anna Paquin: Sookie Stackhouse

Quotes 

• Professor Kannell : Either you two are a couple of jokesters sent by Louisiana Tech, don't laugh, it's happened. Or you're the victims of a not particularly sophisticated hoax.

  Sookie Stackhouse : Hoax? Why would anyone plant a hoax under my gran's bed?

  Professor Kannell : I can't speak to that, but whoever it is is long dead because this vellum is at least 200 years old. Maybe more.

  Jason Stackhouse : What does it say?

  Professor Kannell : I don't think it says anything. You've got glyphs on a page arranged in groups of four or five so, at first glance, it looks like words. But here's the problem. None of these characters repeat. Every alphabet known to man has a defined set of characters, not 300 different ones. This is just a set of hundreds of unique squiggles.

  Sookie Stackhouse : If it doesn't mean anything, why bother writing it down?

  Professor Kannell : Why does my ex-wife name her toes? Maybe as a joke. Maybe 'cause she's nuts.

• Andy Bellefleur : [after Sookie stakes Mike Spencer]  Funny thing is, this is the exact kinda crime scene Mike would of loved.

  Sookie Stackhouse : I know. Our town needed a guy like him.

  Andy Bellefleur : Man loved his job.

  Sookie Stackhouse : [pause]  He wanted to suck on my toes.

  Andy Bellefleur : He kept autopsy photos on his computer same place he kept his porn.

  Sookie Stackhouse : Ew, no.

  Andy Bellefleur : Yep.

  Sookie Stackhouse : Suddenly, I don't feel so bad.

• Maurella : [Reading]  "5th of August, 1702. I, John William Stackhouse, in reference to our binding agreement on this said date, do grant Mr. M. Warlow my first... fae-bearing female heir."

  Sookie Stackhouse : Warlow. He's the one who...

  [Trails off] 

  Jason Stackhouse : Claude? Who was the first female faerie in our family after 1702?

  Claude Crane : Actually, there haven't been any. Until Sookie.