Modern Family (TV Series)

Aunt Mommy (2012)

Ty Burrell: Phil Dunphy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phil Dunphy : [Walks in to Haley and Alex scrubbing the kitchen]  Whoa. What's all this?

  Haley Dunphy : Mom heard us say we were bored.

  Phil Dunphy : Suckers.

  Alex Dunphy : She heard us from *outside*!

  Haley Dunphy : She has super good hearing, like a seeing eye dog. They have overdeveloped hearing to make up for the fact... wait, the dogs aren't blind. Wait, are they? No, that wouldn't make sense.

  Alex Dunphy : [to Phil]  You're right. If I wait long enough, she can get there by herself.

  Phil Dunphy : [His cell phone rings]  Quick, girls. Famous Danny from "Moonstruck". Aiello?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Hey, Phil, I'm glad I caught ya.

  Phil Dunphy : What's up?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Uh, it's about Steven and Stefan. They want to see that house on Briar again.

  Phil Dunphy : Really? I showed it to them five times. Last time we were there, I think they got mail.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah, well, that's why I'm calling. They hate upsetting people. Unless, of course, it's me. Then they don't mind waking me up at seven A.M., asking me to call you.

  Phil Dunphy : It's no problem. I'm just hanging around. Kind of bored, really.

  [Alex and Haley gasp] 

  Phil Dunphy : What?

  [Gasps in realization] 

• Phil Dunphy : We have an expression around the office for when a sale just isn't happening - 'Commission: Impossible'. Maybe for some people.

• Phil Dunphy : Hey Claire, guess what?

  Claire Dunphy : I'm sorry, honey, I can't talk right now. I told Bethenny I would take her to the airport. I'm late, and she's gonna miss her flight. Where are my keys? Why is that chair still here? I thought you and Luke were gonna put it out on the sidewalk.

  Phil Dunphy : So you can't talk, unless it's about my chores.

  Claire Dunphy : Why don't you just do it now, and you won't be so bored.

  Phil Dunphy : You heard that?

  Claire Dunphy : I hear everything.

• Phil Dunphy : I have to go show a house. But first, what was Elton John's sexual orientation in the '70s?

  Haley Dunphy , Alex Dunphy : Bi.

  Haley Dunphy : You've done that one before.

  Phil Dunphy : And it never gets old. Like the good Captain Fantastic himself.

• Claire Dunphy : What was I thinking? I-I-I just get drunk and I bring a baby into the world?

  Phil Dunphy : That would be four for four.

  Claire Dunphy : I can't go through with it.

  Phil Dunphy : Don't panic. You haven't donated anything yet. Besides, what are the chances your eggs even work?

  [Claire gives him a look] 

  Phil Dunphy : What are the chances we can pretend I never said that?

• Phil Dunphy : Sweet potato fries!