The Office (TV Series)
Test the Store (2012)
Ed Helms: Andy Bernard
Photos
Quotes
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Andy Bernard : Tough day. Yes. But I feel good. I put the office in their place, took a bunch of painkillers, drank a bottle of wine, took my pants off. I just feel good.
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Andy Bernard : Morning, everyone.
Kevin Malone : Oh, Andy, guess what happened to me this morning?
Andy Bernard : Don't care. Tell me later.
Kevin Malone : Listen, it's important. You've gotta hear this.
Andy Bernard : What do you got?
Kelly Kapoor : Oh, my god!
Phyllis Vance : Do you have a black eye?
Andy Bernard : Yes, I do. Phyllis.
Kevin Malone : I woke up at 4 am by accident in time for the paper to be delivered. Guess what?
Andy Bernard : What?
Kevin Malone : It's not a kid on a bike. It's a man in a car.
Darryl Philbin : Andy, who punched you?
Meredith Palmer : Hey, I was on the can. What's this about a black guy in the office?
Angela Martin-Lipton : Black eye, Meredith.
Kelly Kapoor : Will someone please explain what's going on here? Since the interesting thing happened til now, so much time has passed; it's like my life is buffering.
Andy Bernard : Here's what happened. Pam and I were arriving for the day. And there was a gang in the parking lot on bikes, on, on motorcycles. And they were just hassling Pam...
Pam Beesly : That's true.
Andy Bernard : They had, uh... weapons.
Pam Beesly : Weapons.
Andy Bernard : I just stepped in to talk some sense into them.
Pam Beesly : But these were not the kind of people who use their words.
Andy Bernard : Punches were going, and I ducked a few, landed a couple, and I was fighting them off. It was totally, like, like, senseless crime.
Pam Beesly : Thank goodness he was there.
Oscar Martinez : Good job, Andy.
Kevin Malone : Yeah
[all murmuring]
Andy Bernard : I didn't do anything any of you wouldn't have done.