Modern Family (TV Series)

Open House of Horrors (2012)

Colin Hanlon: Steven

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stefan : Oh, my God! John-John, is that you? You look amazing!

  John-John : Thanks! That's what happens when you lose a hundred pounds.

  Cameron Tucker : Oh, come on. What a...

  John-John : Who wants to lift me?

  Steven : Me!

  John-John : Come on.

  Cameron Tucker : How could he have not called us?

  Steven : [Picks John-John up]  Oh, my God, he's as light as a feather!

  Cameron Tucker : You know what? I'm gonna go lift him, and shake him 'til his staples pop.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Holds him back]  Cam, stop!

• Steven : I love your costume, too, Cam. Adora-bull.

  Cameron Tucker : Oh, well, thank you. It's all in fun. I half-wanted to wear something tighter. You know, I've been reducing.

  Steven : I can see.

  Cameron Tucker : Well, you say it like you can't.

  Steven : No, no, no. I totally can.

  Cameron Tucker : [Unzipping his costume and showing him]  Impressive, huh?

• Steven : [to Gloria's costume]  *That* is hilarious. I love when people put some thought into their outfit. Illegal alien, sugar daddy.

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Why do you say 'illegal'?

  Steven : Because antennas are alien, and you're...

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : What? Illegal? Because of the color of my skin? Why don't I dump your baby in your gas tank?

  [Pokes Steven's bag of sugar] 

  Jay Pritchett : Gloria! Uh, no hard feelings, please. Just enjoy the party, okay?

  [to Gloria, aside] 

  Jay Pritchett : First of all, relax. We're at a party. Secondly, you've been deported twice. You're not *allowed* to be that defensive.