Modern Family (TV Series)
Bringing Up Baby (2012)
Eric Stonestreet: Cameron Tucker
Photos
Quotes
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Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : It was a surprise.
Claire Dunphy : Yeah, I'll bet. What did my dad say?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : I haven't told him yet. I worry that he's going to think it's not such great news.
Claire Dunphy : Ohh, no. Don't be silly. He's gonna be thrilled.
[In interview]
Claire Dunphy : I knew he wasn't gonna be thrilled. and if history was any indication, he wasn't gonna be able to hide it.
Cameron Tucker : [Flashback to dinner with Mitch and Cam] It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay Pritchett : Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not 'pou-ting' it in my mouth.
[flashback to her and Jay having dinner with Cameron and Mitchell]
Cameron Tucker : It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay Pritchett : Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.
[Cut to another flashback at the Dunphy house]
Jay Pritchett : We're here!
Claire Dunphy : [Comes out with brunette hair, singsongy] Hi!
Jay Pritchett : What'd you do to your hair?
Claire Dunphy : I thought I'd try something different.
Jay Pritchett : What, looking old?
Claire Dunphy : I thought I'd try something different.
Claire Dunphy : [Back to current interview] I had to get to Dad before he said something insensitive to Gloria. But she is gonna get really fat, though.
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Cameron Tucker : The giant stuffed elephant was a gift from our good friend Pepper.
Mitchell Pritchett : Gay guys having kids is... it's relatively new, so our community has not yet learned how to modulate baby gifts.
Cameron Tucker : When Steven and Stefan had little Rocco, our friend Longinus sent over the whole cast of "Yo Gabba Gabba."
Mitchell Pritchett : Now Rocco cries whenever he sees bright colors.
Cameron Tucker : I'm not allowed over there.
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Cameron Tucker : [Leaving the Salvation Army] They wouldn't take 'em. They were afraid they might have bedbugs.
Mitchell Pritchett : Are you serious? They rejected our donation?
Cameron Tucker : I was so offended, I almost didn't buy this Fiestaware creamer. Two bucks. Didn't know what they had.
Mitchell Pritchett : Ah! Score.
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Cameron Tucker : Okay, sweetie. Here, have a seat with us. Um, listen. There's something we need to tell you.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Is it about Larry?
Mitchell Pritchett : Well, uh, yes. Uh, sort of. Um, it... it turns out that... we're not getting a baby.
Cameron Tucker : Yeah, and I know this... this makes you very sad, but I promise you we're still a family ...
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Can I have a kitten?
Cameron Tucker : A kitten?
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : If I can't have a brother, then I want a kitten named Larry.
Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, w-what's this about? Is Larry on a show?
Cameron Tucker : He's not, which is what's weird.
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Mitchell Pritchett : So what are we gonna do now?
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Get a kitten and then name it Larry.
Mitchell Pritchett : Lily, honey, this is hardly the day to get a kitten, okay? Would you just tell her?
Cameron Tucker : I don't know. I kinda want one now. You know, we have been through a lot, and maybe the presence of a cuddly little friend will help us ease the pain.
Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, so what you're saying is you have a child-shaped hole in your heart, and your plan is to cram a cat into there?
Cameron Tucker : He has a name.
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Mitchell Pritchett : [about the giant stuffed elephant] I guess we should donate it somewhere, along with the 800-pound gorilla. I mean, you know, now that we're not getting a baby, it's just...
Cameron Tucker : A decision, by the way, which seems even better in the light of day.
Mitchell Pritchett : Mm. No, I totally agree.
Cameron Tucker : So we're good?
Mitchell Pritchett : No, we're great.
Cameron Tucker : We couldn't have handled this any better.
Mitchell Pritchett : No.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : [Coming in] Where's my new baby brother?
Cameron Tucker : Okay. Uh, slight oversight.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Can I see him? Can we name him Larry?
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Jay Pritchett : [Gloria has finally told him she's pregnant] You gotta be kidding me!
Luke Dunphy : Oh, gross. I didn't know Grandpa could still do it.
Phil Dunphy : Don't be disrespectful, Luke. Anyone could do it with Gloria.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : And if you're too set on your old ways to be happy about it, I can raise it on my own! I have done it before, and I can do it now! I come from a very long line of strong Latin woman whose husbands are nowhere to be found!
Jay Pritchett : Are you done?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Yes!
Jay Pritchett : Can I say something?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Go on!
Jay Pritchett : That's the greatest news I've ever heard.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : It is?
Jay Pritchett : I spent the day hearing what my future had in store for me, and I didn't like one bit of it. It felt like my life was ending. And now you're telling me that I get to have a new start... with the woman of my dreams. I think I'm gonna cry.
Luke Dunphy : [Teary-eyed] I'm way ahead of you.
Cameron Tucker : [!uietly to Mitchell] Can you believe this?
Mitchell Pritchett : I know. They wouldn't even let us get a cat.
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Claire Dunphy : Dad? Dad, okay, quick. Just come here one second. I gotta tell you something. Somebody is about to tell you some very important news. And for the first time in your life, I need you to react nicely.
Jay Pritchett : [In a low voice] I always react nicely.
Claire Dunphy : [In a low voice] You never do. And this person in question is very vulnerable right now, so could you please just be loving and supportive?
Mitchell Pritchett : [Comes in with Cam and Lily] Happy birthday, Dad!
Jay Pritchett : Oh, thank you. Hey. That's my boy. Hi. Mwah.
Cameron Tucker : Sorry we're late, but it's for a good reason - we're thinking about getting a cat.
Claire Dunphy : Oh.
Jay Pritchett : Well, isn't that wonderful? I'm thrilled for you both. This is a heck of a decision. You have my full support.
[Glances at Claire, who tries to indicate it's the wrong news]
Mitchell Pritchett : [Unsure how to react] Okay?
Jay Pritchett : I think it'll be a perfect addition to the family. I know I'll love the heck out of the little bugger.
[Points at Stella on the stairs]
Jay Pritchett : I'm just hoping that little one over there doesn't get jealous.
Manny Delgado : [Standing next to Stella] Oh, this little one will be just fine now that he knows where he stands - in the shadow of your new baby!
Jay Pritchett : What's he talking about?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : He's talking about I am pregnant.
Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, come on!
Cameron Tucker : Pregnant?
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Mitchell Pritchett : Hey, Dad, Gloria, open our present.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Ooh! I hope it's something fancy.
[Opens the bag to a onesie with a Union Jack on it]
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : It's for the baby! I love it!
Cameron Tucker : We got it in a shop at Heathrow, duty free.
Luke Dunphy : [laughs] Not for long. Heh.
Cameron Tucker : [Slight English accent] Isn't it absolutely brilliant?
Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, we were in London two weeks. Lose the accent, Madonna.
Alex Dunphy : Why is your face all scratched up?
Mitchell Pritchett : Stupid Larry.
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Mitchell Pritchett : All right, take a whiff. Make sure you like it, 'cause that's what our couch is gonna smell like.
Cameron Tucker : Okay, hi. Yes, we're gonna take this one.
Cat Lady : Oh, I'm gonna need you to slow down a bit. There's a process we need to go through to see if you're a suitable cat guardian.
Cameron Tucker : Oh, really? Because I thought the process was I say 'We'll take this one', and then you say 'Thank God because we have too many cats'.
Cat Lady : No. We need to ensure these cats are going to good homes. That's why we need you to fill out this form, and then there'll be a site visit.
Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, um, we've just been through a very frustrating year trying to adopt a baby, so... you'll forgive us if we're not really in the mood to jump through too many hoops for a cat.
Cat Lady : Oh. Why wouldn't they give you a baby?
Cameron Tucker : It's complicated.
Cat Lady : So are cats.
Mitchell Pritchett : Are they? Because that one over there's been licking itself ever since we got here.
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Cameron Tucker : [Trying to fix the stuffed animals tied to the car roof] Okay, I give up. I can't find a position that's not sexual.
Mitchell Pritchett : Just calm down.
Cameron Tucker : I can't calm down. You know, maybe we're not as okay as we keep saying we are.
Mitchell Pritchett : I know.
Cameron Tucker : Maybe we should go away. You know, go someplace to heal.
Mitchell Pritchett : Where?
Cameron Tucker : Well, someplace with a vibrant theater scene.
Mitchell Pritchett : Hmm.
Cameron Tucker : Top-notch restaurants... the jewel of Missouri's White River.
Mitchell Pritchett : We're not going to Branson.
Cameron Tucker : Okay, fine. Where would you go?
Mitchell Pritchett : I don't know. Maybe Europe? London? Just somewhere far away. I'm just sad, Cam.
Cameron Tucker : I am, too. You know, I had our mornings all planned out. The baby and I would walk Lily to kindergarten and then cut back home through the park and feed those ducks that you're not supposed to feed but everybody does.
Mitchell Pritchett : I bought a picture frame for my desk, and it's... it's just sitting there, waiting for his face.
Cameron Tucker : Come here.
Mitchell Pritchett : [Hugging] I already feel better.
Cameron Tucker : Me, too. See what the power of a hug can do? Just saved us a long plane ride with a toddler.
Mitchell Pritchett : And a cat that we didn't want.
Cameron Tucker : Oh, we're still getting that.
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Cameron Tucker : Mitchell stormed off, but I couldn't. I had to give her a piece of my mind.
Mitchell Pritchett : And how'd that go?
Cameron Tucker : I may have strayed off topic just a bit.
Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah.
Cameron Tucker : [In flashback] No, sir! No, she will always be Norma Jean Baker to me.
Cat Lady : What is your point, exactly?
Cameron Tucker : That like the thrice-married starlet, this cat is being deprived a stable home.
Cat Lady : I'm sorry if you're upset.
Cameron Tucker : You're the one who should be upset, ma'am. We are animal lovers.
[Behind them, Mitchell 'dances' the car, with the stuffed animals on top looking like they're humping]
Cameron Tucker : That cat would've been on the receiving end of affection 24 hours a day. Satisfying its every need would've been our top priority.
[Turns and sees the car]
Cameron Tucker : Okay, in light of that tableau, I would like to take back the phrase 'receiving end'.