Modern Family (TV Series)

The Butler's Escape (2012)

Jesse Tyler Ferguson: Mitchell Pritchett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mitchell Pritchett : [as Claire tries to sneak behind Cam]  So, tell me more about the kids.

  Cameron Tucker : Well, it was as I predicted, you know. They just needed somebody to come in there and bring music back to life. And, you know, that person was...

  [Voice starts breaking] 

  Cameron Tucker : That person was...

  [Starts sobbing] 

  Cameron Tucker : It's not me!

  Mitchell Pritchett : What's happening?

  Cameron Tucker : It was a disaster, Mitchell! They hated me! Not just the kids, the teachers. They wouldn't sit with me at lunch; I had to sit alone.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, honey.

  [Gestures at Claire to leave before Cam sees her] 

  Cameron Tucker : And my sweater - the shop teacher spilled juice on it. He said it was an accident, but it wasn't an accident.

  Mitchell Pritchett : It's okay.

  Cameron Tucker : It was a disaster, Mitchell. It's not okay! I failed miserably. And look at you - you did everything so perfectly.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Well, yes.

  [Sees Claire giving him a look] 

  Mitchell Pritchett : And-and-and no. Look, look, I... I gotta tell ya, uh, I've just been watching how you've done things all these years, and I just perfected it.

  Claire Dunphy : [Slams the door]  Oh, please, Mitchell!

  Mitchell Pritchett : Claire...

  Claire Dunphy : Cam, he was every bit the failure you were. He was late picking up Lily - she was in with the custodians. The only thing he had less to do with than dinner was the dimmer. And her hair was in braids because there was gum in it! And -

  [Cam grabs Mitchell in a hug] 

  Claire Dunphy : Why are we hugging?

  Cameron Tucker : Because I know if he called you for help and heard as many insults as I know he had to hear, then he had a worse day than me.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Voice breaks]  She was horrible, Cam.

  Cameron Tucker : [Hugs Mitchell again]  Oh! You know what? It's gonna get better.

  Mitchell Pritchett : No, I know. We just need some time to settle into these new roles.

  Cameron Tucker : You were right to lower my expectations.

  Mitchell Pritchett : I just wish I had lowered mine.

  Claire Dunphy : [Clanging pot lid and drill]  This gonna work it's way around to a 'Thank You', ladies?

• Mitchell Pritchett : So, how was it? How was the big debut? Was it a comfortable ride around the schoolyard on the shoulders of the children?

  Cameron Tucker : Well, I stood and delivered. Thank you for sarcastically asking. Yeah. Okay, did you call the electrician about the dimmer?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on the other line with him right now.

  Cameron Tucker : Oh, well, I should probably let you go. Keep your eye on Lily. She has a tendency to wander off.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Seeing Lily is gone]  Cam... uh, wh-wh... I'm... I'm totally capable of...

  Cameron Tucker : You lost her, didn't you?

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Scrambling through the store as they talk]  No. No, no, no, no. No, she is right next to me. Hi, honey.

  Cameron Tucker : I can hear it in your voice. Look in the dairy case.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Finding Lily in the dairy case]  Cam, do you honestly think that I would lose...

  Cameron Tucker : The doors don't pull. They slide.

  [Mitchell shamefully slides the door open] 

• Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Daddy always parks in the back of the school.

  Mitchell Pritchett : I know, sweetie, but, uh, those spots were all taken.

  Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Because we're late?

  Mitchell Pritchett : No, we're, like, a minute late, and that's 'cause of traffic.

  Lily Tucker-Pritchett : And because I tipped over. You didn't snap my car seat right.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, well, it certainly didn't hurt your memory any. All right, here's your lunch.

  Lily Tucker-Pritchett : [Takes the open bag and it spills]  You spilled it!

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Putting everything back in]  Oh! Why is the top open?

  Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Daddy always zips it for me.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Quietly]  Maybe you should zip it.

  Lily Tucker-Pritchett : I heard that.

• Cameron Tucker : Okay, Lily's drop-off time is between 8:45 and 8:50, so you should be fine to get to work by 9:00. Here is her checklist for her backpack.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Seeing Cam's sweater]  Uh, wow.

  Cameron Tucker : Oh, I have this whole thing planned. Okay, I'm gonna walk in, take off my jacket, and say 'here comes treble.'

  Mitchell Pritchett : Big swing on the first day.

  Cameron Tucker : Please don't tamp down my enthusiasm. Okay, what else? Oh, the dimmer came in for the switch, so I want you to call the electrician, but not Brad. Remember? We had a problem with him last time about the billing.

  Mitchell Pritchett : He wanted his name above the title?

  Cameron Tucker : Yes, you've done that joke before. So cute. So funny. What else? Oh! Lily needs to get a present for Gio's birthday party. And don't be thrown by the invitation. It is a pirates party, not a pilates party. Now, sit. I wanna talk juice boxes.

• Mitchell Pritchett : Cam took a job teaching music at the local middle school. Yeah, his first day is tomorrow.

  Cameron Tucker : I'm excited for me, but I'm probably more excited for the students because a great teacher is a gift.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Hasn't started yet.

  Cameron Tucker : I have to tip my hat to my high school music teacher, a real force of nature who was also the defensive coordinator for the football team and supervised calf birthing for the Animal Husbandry Club. Doris Olson. Great lady.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [taken aback a bit]  Lady.

• Mitchell Pritchett : Cam, I know what's happening here. You're feeling very anxious about your first day at work, and you're focusing that anxiety on my day with Lily.

  Cameron Tucker : Really? Are you sure I'm not completely confident about my first day because it's gonna be a home run, and I am worried about you because you're taking on a little bit more of the Lily load? Don't be scared, sweetie.

  [Kisses the top of Lily's head] 

  Cameron Tucker : Mwah!

  Mitchell Pritchett : She's not scared! Wh-wh-what are you doing?

  Cameron Tucker : Just call me if you need me.

  Mitchell Pritchett : I won't!

  Cameron Tucker : And thank you for managing my expectations today. Not necessary.

  Mitchell Pritchett : I saw you practicing a bow last night.

  Cameron Tucker : That was just in fun. You know, I highly doubt some teenagers are gonna throw rose petals at my feet.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah.

  Cameron Tucker : But I wouldn't be surprised if I got slow-clapped out of my first class.