Modern Family (TV Series)

The Butler's Escape (2012)

Nolan Gould: Luke Dunphy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cameron Tucker : So now let's form an orchestra made up of my favorite instruments: your beautiful bodies.

  Luke Dunphy : [Lowered sing-songy voice]  Getting creepy...

• Alex Dunphy : [Watching Claire do a crossword puzzle]  Wrong.

  Claire Dunphy : I am thinking.

  Alex Dunphy : If you were thinking, you wouldn't have Seattle as the capital of Washington.

  Claire Dunphy : Oh. Yeah. It's Spokane.

  Alex Dunphy : Sure, which makes the 11th President of the United States 'James K. Pslk.'

  Claire Dunphy : Okay, Alex, stop. I'm trying to figure this out.

  Alex Dunphy : [Waits one second]  Buzz! Time's up, dummy. It's Olympia.

  [to Luke, who's looking at the back of a cereal box] 

  Alex Dunphy : Make sure you sound out the big, scary words.

  [Smacks his head into the box and walks away laughing] 

  Luke Dunphy : Mom, something's on my mind, and it's really bothering me.

  Claire Dunphy : Yeah, it's really bothering me, too, but I think it's gonna be rich, so we better be nice to it.

• Phil Dunphy : Buddy... you're gonna make your own choices, and whatever you decide, I'll always support you.

  Luke Dunphy : You're not just saying all this 'cause you're stuck, right?

  Phil Dunphy : Nothing you decide will ever disappoint me.

• Claire Dunphy : Luke wants to quit magic.

  Phil Dunphy : [Without missing a beat]  That's not happening. Well, see you guys at dinner.

  Claire Dunphy : Sweetheart, don't you even want to talk about this?

  Phil Dunphy : What's to talk about? The kid's a natural. He has everything - the hands, the patter, the outfits.

  Claire Dunphy : Okay, let's play this out. Even if he is one in a million, what's our best case scenario here? He becomes, what...

  Claire Dunphy , Phil Dunphy : [Simultaneously, Phil excited and Claire neutral]  A professional magician?

  Phil Dunphy : Honey, the boy has a gift! You wanna just throw that away?

  Claire Dunphy : I don't think it's about throwing it away I think it's about you pushing him...

  Luke Dunphy : Don't I get a say in any of this? I'm sorry I don't like magic as much as you, but I don't.

  Phil Dunphy : This isn't about magic.

  Luke Dunphy : No, it's about *my* life and *you* controlling it.

  Phil Dunphy : Luke, you made a commitment. You will honor that commitment!

  Luke Dunphy : Ugh! I hate it here!

  [Throws a smoke pellet and disappears like a magician] 

  Phil Dunphy : [Whispers]  Luke?

• Delroy : When's Mr. Namagachi coming back?

  Cameron Tucker : Okay, Mr. Namagachi isn't coming back, but there *is* somebody that I'd like to introduce you to. Don't know that you properly met. She's a good friend of mine, and she goes by the name of 'Music'. And sometimes my friend music can be shy.

  [Plays the opening chords of 'Fur Elise'] 

  Cameron Tucker : Sometimes she can be *angry*!

  [Plays the opening chords of Beethoven's 'Symphony No. 5'] 

  Cameron Tucker : Huh? Sometimes she can be playful.

  [Plays the opening of Scott Joplin's 'The Entertainer'] 

  Cameron Tucker : And sometimes she can be downright a-funky!

  [Plays electronic funk beat and starts dancing] 

  Luke Dunphy : [sing-songy through clenched teeth]  Train wreck.

  Manny Delgado : There's no way he ran this past Mitchell.

• Luke Dunphy : Why are you making me do this stupid trick?

  Phil Dunphy : I think you're quitting because magic's getting hard. And that's not a good reason for quitting anything. But... if you can do this, then I'll know that you genuinely don't like it, and you'll have my blessing to pursue other interests. No strings attached.

  [Puts a metal ring around Luke and, while removing it, accidentally bumps him on the head] 

  Luke Dunphy : Sorry, Buddy.

  Luke Dunphy : Ow!

  Phil Dunphy : I'm so sorry.

• Luke Dunphy : I know we bought a lot of magic stuff, but we can return some of it - Merlin's hat, the gloves, most of the capes.

  Phil Dunphy : What about Houdini's wands?

  Luke Dunphy : Uh... they kinda got broken.

  Phil Dunphy : All three? What happened? I got you carbon fiber.

  Luke Dunphy : Some kids were messing around with them at school.

  Phil Dunphy : What do you mean? What-what were they doing?

  Luke Dunphy : I don't really wanna talk about it.

• Phil Dunphy : Try to see this from my perspective.

  Luke Dunphy : I can't.

  Phil Dunphy : I'm not raising a quitter. Trust me. I know what's best for you. And watch your time. In the stage version, the rope's on fire and you're suspended over a bed of nails.

  Luke Dunphy : I hate this! Why are you making me do this?

  Phil Dunphy : Use that anger, Lukini. Let it be the key that opens the vault of fear... that holds the chalice of hope that contains the elixir of success. In a few short minutes...

  [the rope goes slack; he turns to see Luke is free] 

  Phil Dunphy : Son of Alkazeel! You've done it!

  Luke Dunphy : [Throws the jacket to the floor]  I quit.

• Phil Dunphy : [Woken in the middle of the night by an explosion]  Is everybody okay?

  Claire Dunphy : I'm fine. Thanks for waiting.

  Alex Dunphy : What was that?

  Phil Dunphy : Water heater, gas line - the training's the same, people. Just stay low and move out!

  Claire Dunphy : Honey, Luke's gone.

  Phil Dunphy : Claire, spontaneous human combustion is very rare.

  Claire Dunphy : I don't think he exploded, Phil.

  Luke Dunphy : [Coming in from outside]  The rope ladder works. At least *someone* followed protocol.