How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Pre-Nup (2012)

Jason Segel: Marshall Eriksen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Arthur : [Arthur has had enough of the couples' squabbling over Barney and Quinn's pre-nups]  Enough, ENOOUGH!

  [couples stop] 

  Arthur : You all have someone who loves you and you're screwing it up over what, who has the most power? That's not love. Love is trusting someone enough to tell them what's really bothering you - and you know what? That's what we're gonna do.

  [to Marshall] 

  Arthur : You, start!

  Marshall Eriksen : [to Lily]  When you got scared about Marvin, it felt like you were saying that I'm not as good a parent as you. You're an amazing mom, and I will look up to that.

  Lily Aldrin : I probably have trust issues because my dad wasn't there for me, but I know that you'll always be there to catch Marvin.

  Arthur : [to Ted and Victoria]  You, next!

  Ted Mosby : Having Klaus back in our lives made me scared we're never gonna escape the past.

  Victoria : I only wanted to help Klaus because I feel guilty of how happy I am with you.

  Arthur : [to Robin and Nick]  Next!

  Nick : I find you so sexy, it just hurt that you don't feel the same way about me.

  Robin Scherbatsky : I get turned on watching myself do the news during sex.

  Nick : Oh... That's cool.

• Lily Aldrin : Marshall, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.

  Marshall Eriksen : I didn't put the bread in there, you didn't put the bread in there!

• Barney Stinson : I'm sorry I lied to you, I'll tell you everything, the whole story.

  Quinn Garvey : Fine, you have one minute before I walk out that door.

  Barney Stinson : [Stutters]  It's kind of a long story, Quinn, gonna take a little bit longer...

  Quinn Garvey : --52 seconds.

  Barney Stinson : Seven years ago when Marshall and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room, and I said, "oh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty" but ted really liked her so we played; HAAAAVVVEE YOU MET TED, they went to dinner, ted walked her home, should have kissed her didn't, lame, so he stole a smurf penis and went back to her place, should have kissed her didn't, lame, he threw three parties they kissed on the roof, but decided to be friends, lame, then ted wanted to take robin to a wedding, she couldn't go so ted went alone and met Victoria, didn't kiss her either, lame, not a great closer ted, but he finally kissed her, they started dating, she went to Germany, ted kissed robin, lost Victoria, ted did a rain dance, got robin, ted and robin broke up, robin moved to Brazil came back with a Latin stud, ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp---not really relevant to the story, I just like mentioning that as much as possible---I hooked up with robin, ted and I stopped being friends, ted got hit by a bus, we made up.

  [Takes huge breath in] 

  Barney Stinson : Robin and I started dating, I got fat, her hair fell out, we broke up, robin dated Donn, I dated Nora, cheated on her with robin, I dumped Nora, robin dated Kevin, but not for long, and then I met you, and you took my grandpa's watch, but I fell in love with you anyways, and you let me fart in front of you, I asked you to marry me and you said yes, and we came over here to meet little Marvin and that's everything. Also I went on The Price Is Right, met Bob Barker, and won a dune buggy.

  Quinn Garvey : Goodbye, Barney

  [She leaves] 

  Lily Aldrin : She let you fart in front of her

  Marshall Eriksen : Barney, you go get that girl.