Modern Family (TV Series)
Arrested (2012)
Nolan Gould: Luke Dunphy
Photos
Quotes
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Cameron Tucker : How you doing, Alex?
Alex Dunphy : I'm fine, except for the crushing blow of knowing I'll never be a doctor. Or have a baby. I wonder what's going on with Haley.
Cameron Tucker : I don't know. I've been so petty about your mom judging my parenting, I haven't even thought about what she's going through today. I feel awful. You know what? I should call her.
Alex Dunphy : What are you talking about? Mom thinks you're a great parent.
Cameron Tucker : She does?
Luke Dunphy : Yeah. She just thinks you can't bake.
Claire Dunphy : [picking up Cam's call] Hello?
Cameron Tucker : [hanging up] Never mind.
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Cameron Tucker : [Luke is wearing his hospital gown backwards] Okay, Luke, the opening is supposed to be in the back.
Luke Dunphy : No way. I don't want people to see my butt. Do I have to get another shot?
Lily Tucker-Pritchett : Are you going to cry again?
Luke Dunphy : Should she be here?
Cameron Tucker : Okay, you know what? Nobody's getting any more shots. We just have to wait for the swelling to go down. All right? I'm gonna go check on a little paperwork. I'll be right back.
Alex Dunphy : But if it doesn't go down, that leg might have to come off.
Luke Dunphy : Sweet. Take them both. Then I could get some of those blade legs and finally be able to dunk.
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Alex Dunphy : Oh, my god. What are you doing here?
Haley Dunphy : I got kicked out. So go ahead, make your jokes. Get it out of your system.
Alex Dunphy : [giving her a hug] No, that's horrible. I'm so sorry. It'll be fine. I'm sure of it.
Haley Dunphy : Thank you. Ew, what did you do to my room?
Alex Dunphy : Well, it's not exactly your room. It's... it's mine.
Haley Dunphy : This goes. This goes. I hate *that*. This is ugly.
Alex Dunphy : Haley, stop!
Haley Dunphy , Alex Dunphy : Mom!
Haley Dunphy : What is this, a solar system?
Alex Dunphy : It's molecules.
Haley Dunphy : They're nerdy balls.
Luke Dunphy : Alex, don't fight with her. She might have a shiv. We cool?
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Cameron Tucker : [Luke is in the hospital] You're looking a lot better. How you feeling?
Luke Dunphy : Better than Kidney Stones over there.
Cameron Tucker : Yeah, you know what? Now that you're doing better, I think I should call your mom and tell her what happened. You know, I know it was a bit of a rough ride in the beginning, but the important thing is I handled it. And everybody's okay.
Luke Dunphy : What happened to her?
Mitchell Pritchett : [picking up Cam's call] Hello?
Orderly : [wheeling in Alex on a stretcher] She passed out watching a C-section.
Mitchell Pritchett : Cam?
Cameron Tucker : [the pitch of his voice rising] N-Never mind!
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Cameron Tucker : [learning Luke has a soy allergy] Okay, we have to, uh, get you to the, uh, hospital! Okay, Luke, put the fakon down!
Luke Dunphy : I'm using it to scratch my throat!
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Luke Dunphy : This is the best bacon I've ever had.
Cameron Tucker : Oh, well. I can't wait to tell your Uncle Mitchell that you love it.
Alex Dunphy : Why would Uncle Mitch care?
Cameron Tucker : [dialing Mitchell's number] Because, my dear, that bacon you're eating isn't bacon at all, no, no, no. It's made entirely of soy.
Alex Dunphy : Luke's allergic to soy! His throat closes! He can't breathe!
Mitchell Pritchett : [picking up] Hello?
Cameron Tucker : [hanging up] Never mind!
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Cameron Tucker : This boy can't breathe. He's having a severe allergic reaction.
Luke Dunphy : No, you're squeezing me.
Cameron Tucker : He needs medicine. His throat is closing up.
Nurse : Okay, hold on.
[picking up a phone receiver]
Nurse : We have an allergic reaction. A young boy. Obstructed breathing.
[hanging up]
Nurse : What happened?
Cameron Tucker : Well, somebody gave him some soy bacon that was so good, he couldn't tell the difference.
[his phone rings]
Cameron Tucker : Mitchell, I can't talk right now.
Claire Dunphy : Cam, it's Claire. My phone died. I just wanted to make sure the kids got to school okay.
Cameron Tucker : Oh, yeah, of course they did. Why wouldn't they have?
Orderly : I hear we got a boy who can't breathe?
Alex Dunphy : Right here.
Claire Dunphy : What was that?
Cameron Tucker : Oh, I'm just watching an original Lifetime movie called "The Boy Who Can't Breathe".
Claire Dunphy : That sounded like Alex.
Cameron Tucker : Nope, just Amanda Bynes.