- Raj Koothrappali: In "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", isn't 43 the answer to life, the universe and everything?
- Howard Wolowitz: That's 42, dumbass.
- Raj Koothrappali: Hey! Feelings.
- Penny: Hey. Shouldn't you be out with your gang spray painting equations on the side of buildings?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Come on, I'm sorry.
- Penny: I just can't believe you don't trust me.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I feel... Of course I do.
- Penny: Then why did you embarrass me in front of my friend who, by the way, knew exactly who you were.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Really?
- Penny: Your picture's on my refrigerator!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh. You know, I'm really starting to not like this guy.
- Penny: What is your problem? Do you use up all your thinking at work and then have none left over for when you get home?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't know. It's hard sometimes. Everywhere you go guys hit on you, even if I'm standing right there. And they are all taller than me. WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS TALLER THAN ME? You know what. This is all in my head. It's my problem, not yours.
- Penny: Leonard. Why do you always do this? Listen to me. You are the one I'm with. You know I love you. So would you please relax because you are driving me crazy!
- Leonard Hofstadter: You know that's the first time you said that you love me.
- Penny: [stunned] Yea.
- Leonard Hofstadter: We're supposed to pretend it's not a big deal?
- Penny: That's... exactly what we're going to do because you're about to make me cry and we both know that if I start crying, you're going to start crying.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You're right we should...
- Penny: Fine!
- [Runs down stairs]
- Leonard Hofstadter: [Enters apartment] She loves me.
- Raj Koothrappali: This is so exciting! Like one of my classic murder mystery parties.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Like the case of who murdered three Saturday nights from my life.
- Howard Wolowitz: Colonel Koothrappali in the kitchen with the olive spread.
- Raj Koothrappali: It was tapanade, and you guys suck.
- Alex Jensen: Oh hi, Dr. Hofstader.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, hey, Alex. And call me, Leonard. Dr. Hofstadter is my father. And my mother. And my sister. And our cat. Although I'm pretty sure that Dr. "Boots" Hofstader's degree is honorary.
- Alex Jensen: May I join you, Leonard?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sure. Um, let me ask you something. My girlfriend knows this guy at school. He's got an English accent.
- Alex Jensen: Oo, I love English accents.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yea, you all do. Anyway, I feel like he's hitting on her. She says he's just being nice and I should trust her.
- Alex Jensen: It's probably harmless. You now how it is. I'm sure you get hit on all the time.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Right. Because girls are always like: Ooo, that guy owns two Star Trek uniforms and gets lots of ear infections. I gotta to get me some of that.
- Alex Jensen: You know, I bet it happens more than you realize.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Trust me. It doesn't.
- Alex Jensen: You sure? You're cute. You're funny. Maybe you're getting hit on and you don't even know it.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Really?
- Alex Jensen: Yep, pretty sure.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [laughs] I have to get back to work. Thanks for listening.
- Alex Jensen: No problem.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hope no girls rip my clothes off along the way.
- [Howard and Raj watch the video of Sheldon in the room]
- Sheldon Cooper: This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Experimental log. Wormhole generator test forty-four.
- Howard Wolowitz: Wormhole generator test?
- [Wormhole appears]
- Sheldon Cooper: The first forty-three parallel universes I've checked proved to be empty. I see no reason to suspect universe number forty-four will be any different.
- [Puts his head in the wormhole; when he takes it out he has an alien creature attached to his face]
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh, my God!
- Raj Koothrappali: Holy crap!
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh! It's eating my face!
- Raj Koothrappali: It's eating his face!
- [Sheldon sneaks in from behind them and throw the fake alien creature onto their laptop; Howard and Raj freak out]
- Leonard Hofstadter: It's not to go to the bathroom. He goes at 8:00 AM, with follow-ups at 1:45 and 7:10 on high-fiber Fridays.
- Howard Wolowitz: It's sad that you know that.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That's just the tip of the sadness iceberg.
- Raj Koothrappali: That's a good camera.
- Howard Wolowitz: Should be. It's from the Mars Rover.
- Raj Koothrappali: How did you get it?
- Howard Wolowitz: 5 million dollar equipment, ten dollar lock.
- Sheldon Cooper: If we assume that your looks are average, right off the bat, 50 percent of men on Earth are more attractive than you. That's 1.5 billion handsome lads standing by, waiting to rain on your parade.
- Howard Wolowitz: I wonder what Sheldon's hiding in there?
- Raj Koothrappali: He's always been kind of a weirdo. Maybe he's got Leonard Nimoy chained up in there. Or Bill Gates or Stephen Hawking.
- Howard Wolowitz: Why would he chain up Stephen Hawking?
- Raj Koothrappali: Howard, shame on you! You can't treat him differently just because he's disabled, that's not okay!
- Howard Wolowitz: We're going to the genetics lab to pet the glow-in-the-dark bunny. Want to come?
- Sheldon Cooper: No, thanks.
- Raj Koothrappali: When they turn off the lights, it's like a little laser show that poops all over the place.
- Sheldon Cooper: You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating through certain aspects of daily life: understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I'd want to. It's exhausting! Which is why, for 20 minutes a day, I like to go down to that room, turn my mind off and do what I need to do to recharge.
- Howard Wolowitz: But what do you do in there?
- Raj Koothrappali: What does 43 mean?
- Sheldon Cooper: You don't need to know. You don't deserve to know. And you will never know.
- [Leaves]
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah? Well, I know how to make your egg salad now!
- Howard Wolowitz: [Unlocking door] There. Let's go.
- Raj Koothrappali: Wait. Sheldon's a smart guy. He probably has the place booby trapped.
- Howard Wolowitz: You're right.
- Raj Koothrappali: We need a way to find out first.
- Howard Wolowitz: Don't worry, I have a way.
- Raj Koothrappali: Really? What's the pla...
- [Howard pushes Raj through the door]
- Howard Wolowitz: You okay?
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah.
- Howard Wolowitz: Wha the hell is 43?
- Raj Koothrappali: It's a prime number. Encryption systems are based on prime numbers.
- Howard Wolowitz: What kind of secrets would Sheldon need encrypting?
- Raj Koothrappali: Maybe it's the secret to what makes his egg salad so delicious.
- Howard Wolowitz: It's paprika.
- Raj Koothrappali: Really? Well, one mystery solved.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'll be right back.
- Sheldon Cooper: You're still here? I thought you were long gone.
- Howard Wolowitz: Where are you going?
- Sheldon Cooper: Where are you going?
- Raj Koothrappali: We told you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yeah, I just told you.
- Howard Wolowitz: No, you didn't.
- Sheldon Cooper: Your word against mine. See you in court.
- Sheldon Cooper: You're a real catch, compared to some snoring guy with a fridge full of lousy grapes.
- [Opening lines]
- Raj Koothrappali: What are you drawing over there?
- Sheldon Cooper: A containment unit for a frisbee-sized wormhole that could serve as a portal to a parallel universe.
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh, you silly doodlebug.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You know, scientists believe that contact with other lifeforms would not be good for us.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's a frisbee-sized wormhole, Leonard. I can just cover it with a frisbee. Here.
- [Hands napkin to Howard]
- Howard Wolowitz: You expect me to build this?
- Sheldon Cooper: No, I expect you to wipe the pudding off your chin. Gentlemen?
- Howard Wolowitz: What could 43 be, besides my mother's neck size?
- Raj Koothrappali: It's the atomic number for technetium.
- Howard Wolowitz: That stuff's radioactive.
- Raj Koothrappali: You think he's building a bomb?
- Howard Wolowitz: Nah, it took him two years to put together that Lego Death Star, I'm not worried.
- Raj Koothrappali: This is fun. Sneaking around in the middle of the night. It's like we're a couple of cat burglars.
- Howard Wolowitz: We're not cat burglars. We're more like ninjas.
- Raj Koothrappali: I don't want to be a ninja. I want to be a cat burglar.
- Howard Wolowitz: Fine. I'll be a ninja, and you be a cat burglar.
- Raj Koothrappali: No, we both have to be the same thing!
- Howard Wolowitz: Fine! We're both ninjas.
- Raj Koothrappali: Okay. But next time we'll be cat burglars.
- Raj Koothrappali: [about Alex] Boy, what I wouldn't give to take her out of those pants. And into something a little more stylish.
- Leonard Hofstadter: If you're wondering why I've been staring through the peephole, I'm trying to get a look at this guy who's coming over to Penny's.
- Sheldon Cooper: To be honest, I didn't know you were here.