- Jenna Maroney: Without me, you'd still be behind that light board in Chicago turning bags of Sour Patch Kids inside out to lick them clean!
- Liz Lemon: I got my money's worth! And without me, you'd still be doing local commercials for store-brand douches!
- Jenna Maroney: Well, joke's on you, because that wasn't a commercial. I don't know what that was!
- Liz Lemon: People do say strange things at the end. My grandmother said "Liz! Stop playing with the flesh around my elbow!"
- Liz Lemon: We're talking about Oprah, right?
- Gayle King: No, of course not.
- [whispering]
- Gayle King: She can hear us.
- Tracy Jordan: I've been thinking about what you said, about wishing life could be like TV.
- Kenneth Parcell: That would be great, although I'd get rid of those ads that pop up in the middle of your favorite TV shows.
- [ad for Bitch Hunter appears mid-bottom screen]
- Tracy Jordan: Well why don't you discuss it with special guest star Florence Henderson?
- [applause as she walks in]
- Kenneth Parcell: Mrs. Brady!
- Florence Henderson: Uh uh. I told the black guy here, none of that Brady stuff. Now let's get this over with. Which booking is this? Are you the perverts who want to go to town on each other while I make a pie?
- [gets out apron]
- Liz Lemon: Look, I know she gets under your skin, but you should appreciate this time with her. She's 87.
- Jack Donaghy: Thats only 14 in demon years, Lemon.
- Super Hot Lady: Excuse me. I don't mean to bother you, but I'm a nymphomaniac virgin widow and I just completed my year of mourning and I've got a hotel room and a latex allergy and... well, I was just wondering what you were doing for the next twelve to fourteen hours.