About Alex (2014)

Aubrey Plaza: Sarah

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sarah : You're a dick.

  Josh : Yeah. All men are dicks, Sarah. We're hardwired that way.

  Sarah : Yeah, but you're a dick who thinks he's better than a dick because he can back up his dickish behavior with psychobabble and pseudoscience.

• Sarah : So, we are all doomed, romantically speaking.

  Alex : Only on like a deep karmic level.

  Josh : For whatever reason, I'm strangely okay with that.

• Josh : The Japanese are the most wacked-out people on earth.

  Sarah : Oh my God, you're like an 8 year-old racist.

  Josh : An 8 year-old racist... Look, you cram that many people on an island, it's like a throbbing inbred hothouse of cultural miasma. Frankly, I'm surprised they don't have more fetishes.

• [last lines] 

  Josh : [posing for group picture]  Alright, posture everyone.

  Kate : [holding the camera]  Uh, I'm going to need you to get a lot closer together than that.

  Sarah : Okay.

  Ben : Come on, come on.

  [arm around Alex] 

  Josh : Alright. I'm going to pose a quick idea, you guys. Maybe next time we do this, it's a happy occasion.

  Alex : Is there going to be a next time?

  Isaac : Uh oh.

  Sarah : Alex...

  Kate : Okay. One, two...

• [Watching Kate arrive with Isaac] 

  Sarah : Oh, she's hot.

  Alex : Your boobs are bigger.

  Sarah : That's not true! That's not true!

• Isaac : So, what are we making, Sarah?

  Sarah : We are making chilled watermelon soup and sea scallop risotto.

  Josh : What? What are we making again?

  Sarah : I'm sorry, can you do something helpful?

  Josh : Did you say risotto?

  Sarah : Can you please do something helpful?

  Josh : The joint is not going to roll itself, Sarah. And I am making a magical appetizer dish that is going to make your risotto taste so much better.

• [first lines] 

  Night Editor : [entering]  Ben. Your page's set?

  Ben : Mm, yep. Almost.

  [looking at picture] 

  Ben : Jesus, Alex.

  [answering the phone] 

  Ben : Hello? Yes, this is him, but I'm at work. So...

  Josh : [now answering his phone]  Used to have a freshman roommate named "Ben", but that ass-wad hasn't called me in ages. What?

  Sarah : [on her phone]  And no one was there? He was... Alone? Yeah, of course he was alone. That was stupid. Yeah, I can probably get up in a couple hours. I just need a little bit of time to get out of here.

  [more work gets set on her desk] 

  Isaac : [walking while on his phone]  Well, he's gonna be okay. That's the most important thing. Okay.

  [checking incoming call] 

  Isaac : I gotta take this. Hang on a sec... Babe? Yeah, I'm fine. Just got to the office - I'm gonna leave from there.

• Josh : Sarah!

  Sarah : What?

  Josh : Enough with the fucking pictures.

  Sarah : I'm sorry, I'm recording this for posterity. Is that okay?

  Josh : By what? By ruining it in the present?

  Sarah : No, that's your job.

• Alex : I guess I was mainly just scared.

  Sarah : Of what?

  Alex : Of you all. The possibility that you didn't like me.

  Sarah : That's ridiculous.

  Alex : It's the truth. I remember that that feeling did not go away. Until, um, until junior year when Ben had me at his parents' place for Easter. We took the train there and back. Barely talked, but you know, it was, it was better than talking. It was just... Just nice.

• Sarah : Maybe we should make one of those pacts where if we're still single when we're 35, we all just get married.

  Alex : Who, the *three* of us?

  Sarah : Yes, and Timmy of course.

  [indicating the dog] 

  Sarah : We'll make a great dysfunctional family. How's that sound Timmy?

  Josh : I'd consider it.

• Sarah : You know what i want? I want you to have acted like my boyfriend seven years ago. taken me to a movie, bought me a fucking ice cream cone. That's what i want. Instead of being the guy who permanently fucked up my expectations for normalcy in a relationship. the guy that made me explain to my mom "No, Josh isn't my boyfriend, he's just someone that sleeps with me when he comes home pining for my best friend to drunk to see straight."